A Modest Proposal

YAKIMA HERALD-REPUBLIC

Saturday April 6, 2002

Bring in the Jews!

To the editor – I have the best and only solution to Israel’s problems. The United States is an extension of Israel, known as “The West.” The Israelis have the same values and beliefs as the Western Culture.

These people are brilliant, and it is no accident that they were the “Chosen Ones.” I am completely against any immigration into our country, with one exception: Bring the 4 million Jews of Israel to the USA.

These people would be a great asset to our country. If we have room for 11 million illegal immigrants of questionable background, then we surely can find room for these people. This would resolve one problem of the Middle East and would give reason for that region to stop hating the USA.

The Arab countries could all pay to get rid of them, which would give the Jews the finances to settle into our country.

Anyone who says that the Holy Land is sacred and should be spared, I say read your Bible. It denounces the worship of anything other than the Lord. Let the land burn… it means nothing! By the way, I am not Jewish.

RANDE VAN LUVEN, Yakima


Response by Eric Thomson (2002)

It is said that truly brilliant ideas are distinguished by their simplicity, and that a genius can combine simple things in brilliant ways. It appears that the wobbling hub of the universe known as Yakima has its resident genius: Mr. Rande van Luven, who proposes that the U.S.A. take in all Israeli jews. I think that is an excellent idea for the following reasons:

(1) Zionism or jew-supremacy is ruining the United States, so the jews should be here to reap the bitter fruits of their policies, along with the rest of us.

(2) U.S. tax-payers’ money now being sent to Israel would remain, to some extent, in the U.S. economy, for the jews would spend some of it here. Additional jobs would be created for shabez Goyim, such as opening doors and flushing toilets.

(3) The Israeli government could profitably eliminate the middlemen, by replacing the U.S. government in its entirety. Messrs. Bush, Cheney, Powell et al. would be able to fill the new jobs referred to in (2).

(4) The minor matter of The U.S. Constitution would pose no problem, for it could be stored with The Dead Sea Scrolls, and safely protected from the profane gaze of the Goyim. Under the Bush regime, The Constitution has become an item of historical curiosity, rather than a binding legal document, so there would be few objections from the Goy cattle. On the contrary, the disappearance of  The Constitution would be applauded by the sheeple, were our new president, Ariel Sharon, to offer us a Constitutional Retirement Superbowl game, and throw in some of Bush’s Potent Pretzels.

(5) The U.S.A. was founded by judeophiliacs and wannabe jews. It now teems with jews, jew-lovers, jew-supremacists, jew-stooges and jew-slaves. I don’t know under which of these categories Mr. van Luven would fall, but since he says he is not a jew, he probably is. The U.S.A. has lots of real jews in small towns, as well as the well-known urban centers. The jews claim to make up only 2% of the U.S. population, but since they like to add zeros, I’d give them a White Man’s estimate of 20%. If we add to the real jew percentage the huge numbers of jew-lackeys, jew-flunkies and jew-wannabes, the total would easily come to 80% of the U.S. population. Only The Great White Die-Off will reduce this percentage to more reasonable proportions. For now, the addition of more jews to this kosher stewpot would make it not much worse than it already is, so what’s not to like? .

(6) Withdrawal of all jews from Israel, alias Occupied Palestine, would allow the Jew World Ordure to get on with its harassment and destruction of Arabs and Moslems, from a safer distance, using weapons of mass-destruction, rather than putting our precious few ZOG-mercs in harm’s way on the ground. With jews out of Israel, present policies of the U.S. oil-bankster Zionists could proceed with much more safety and efficiency. Such a deal!

(7) Were Mr. van Luven’s proposal to be implemented, we could anticipate a veritable orgy of apocalyptic ecstasy, culminating in judeophiliac epiphany, which the U.S. population would enjoy, in large part, were these godlike creatures all to leave Israel and bless us with their presence. We have so much to learn, and they have so much to teach us.

(8) For me, the foremost benefit derived from this influx of more jews in our midst and more pervasive jewish influence in our lives would be the overcoming of prejudice. I, myself, was a victim of my prejudice toward jews, but over my years of close contact with them, I finally grew to dislike them. Thus it is that familiarity can overcome prejudice, and I am confident that Goy sheeple can finally learn that truth is “anti-Semitic”. Until then, “They Live” and we sleep.

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