Girls’ Romantic Ideal Based on Father

Most girls receive too little love from their fathers, and grow up to be insecure, distrustful of men and frigid, says Victoria Secunda, author of Women and their Fathers: The Sexual and Romantic Impact of the First Man in Your Life (1992). The result is failed marriages, broken families and a vicious circle of fatherlessness.

Secunda’s conclusions are based on interviews with 150 daughters, 75 fathers, and dozens of authorities. Because she is not an academic, Ms. Secunda has written an honest and useful book. Because she is a feminist, it slipped through the feminist censors and was well received. This is ironic because feminism is largely responsible for the symptoms she describes.


Girls model their male romantic ideal on their relationship with their father, according to Secunda. One woman said: “When I grow up, will I ever find a man as sweet and good and kind as my daddy.” (p.105)

Women’s attachments are “mirror images” of how they related to their fathers. “They instinctively repeat what they experienced in childhood, even if it was the worst thing in the world. It’s what they know. They are trying to have one more shot at childhood, one more chance to rewrite their emotional histories.” (224)

A three-year-old girl wants to marry Daddy and have mother out of the way. A good father helps her to understand that he is spoken for and prepares her for another man. But if he leaves, her idealization of her father can be frozen in time. (197)

booksecunda.jpgGirls must have their father’s approval and love. This is like sun and water to a flower. One woman said: “Whenever I’d worry about ever getting a boyfriend, he’d laugh and say, ‘Are you kidding? I’ll have to beat them off with a stick. You’ll see.’ His whole approach was to make me feel good about myself…. I think if fathers do nothing else, that’s a great thing.” (221)

Another woman said: “It’s my dad who made me believe in myself. I remember my mom once telling me, ‘Don’t act too smart; boys won’t like you.” To which my father responded, ‘Hogwash! She’ll get smarter boys.” (225)

These women naturally feel positively about themselves and are able to find partners who mirror the devoted father of their childhood.


If a woman does not have a dependable nurturing father, due to divorce or his arrested development, she may believe she is essentially unlovable and actually seek out men who deny her needs or reject her. (224)

These women may become sexually active prematurely. They may fear intimacy. The common theme is “an inability to trust, to believe that a man won’t go away.”

Secunda says that women who have trouble achieving orgasm mostly had fathers who were emotionally or physically absent during their childhood. (31) Understandably, a woman needs to trust in order to “let go.” (See also my “The Power of Sexual Surrender.”)

Women with absent fathers feel rootless and aren’t sure they belong anywhere. They close up emotionally and tend to have rocky relationships. “Most of these daughters tended to test the men in their lives, starting fights, finding flaws, expecting to be abandoned, or looking for excuses to walk out themselves.” (214)


Source Article from

Related Posts
YouTube promoted videos of scantily clad underage girls as young as 5 or 6 to
   A daring seventh-floor rescue by a man clinging to a balcony with his one
Pamela Anderson Romantic with Zionist Agent Julian Assange The illuminati Jew couple. Pamela Anderson has
“I would never give my daughter, or my son the shot… This is a massive
An Asian sex gang, who raped girls as young as eleven in the UK, have

Hits: 32

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Leave a Reply


Powered by WordPress | Designed by: Premium WordPress Themes | Thanks to Themes Gallery, Bromoney and Wordpress Themes