satire, fake news

  

Reality has come under fire for not more clearly distinguishing itself from satire.

Fact-checkers and fake news watchdogs have called on reality to label itself after real news stories insisted on sounding like satire.

Experts proposed forcing real news stories to include labels like [REAL NEWS] in the headline. They could also include parentheticals throughout that read things like “(Just as a reminder, this actually happened and is not satire).” Then, the article could conclude with a notice saying, “What you just read was an actual thing that actually happened.”

“The problem with all these real news sites is they’re reporting things that would have been satirical just six months ago,” said a representative for one popular joke-checking website. “It makes it really hard for satire sites to do their job effectively when all this reality is out there muddying the details of satire.”

The site flagged several public figures and entities as particularly problematic:

  • Donald Trump
  • Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
  • Anyone who writes for Vox.com
  • San Francisco
  • The Democratic Socialists of America
  • Those crazy televangelists who worship Donald Trump
  • Prosperity gospel preachers
  • People who think it’s OK for kids to dance for money in bars

All these and more are under fire and may be required to label all their content, statements, and activities as real to avoid confusion with satire.