RSS Feed
EDMOND, OK — YouVersion, parent company of the most popular Bible app on the App Store, has announced a groundbreaking change to mankind’s Bible-reading experience. Effective this week, genealogies in the Old and New Testaments are now skippable through a handy shortcut on all YouVersion Bible applications. “Nobody reads those – everyone’s been pretending they […]
Posts Tagged ‘handy’
Posted in 
Tags: 
Scholars Now Believe Paul Used Handy Map In Back Of Study Bible To See Where He Should Go Next
October 10th, 2022 
Awake Goy ROME — After reviewing new historical evidence, scholars now believe the Apostle Paul used the handy map in the back of his Bible when deciding where to travel to next. Source
This Stupid-Handy Gadget Handles My Least-Favorite Part of Doing Laundry
September 22nd, 2022 Awake Goy Can we all take a moment of silence in honor of the days of infomercials past? In our Lord’s name, Billy Mays, we pray. There’s something so soothing about the familiar drone of an overexcited middle aged man hawking a product I desperately don’t need… wait, do I? It’s not like the ShamWow is the […]
This Stupid-Handy Gadget Handles My Least-Favorite Part of Doing Laundry
September 22nd, 2022 Awake Goy Can we all take a moment of silence in honor of the days of infomercials past? In our Lord’s name, Billy Mays, we pray. There’s something so soothing about the familiar drone of an overexcited middle aged man hawking a product I desperately don’t need… wait, do I? It’s not like the ShamWow is the […]
This Stupid-Handy Gadget Handles My Least-Favorite Part of Doing Laundry
September 22nd, 2022 Awake Goy Can we all take a moment of silence in honor of the days of infomercials past? In our Lord’s name, Billy Mays, we pray. There’s something so soothing about the familiar drone of an overexcited middle aged man hawking a product I desperately don’t need… wait, do I? It’s not like the ShamWow is the […]
This Stupid-Handy Gadget Handles My Least-Favorite Part of Doing Laundry
September 22nd, 2022 Awake Goy Can we all take a moment of silence in honor of the days of infomercials past? In our Lord’s name, Billy Mays, we pray. There’s something so soothing about the familiar drone of an overexcited middle aged man hawking a product I desperately don’t need… wait, do I? It’s not like the ShamWow is the […]
This Stupid-Handy Gadget Handles My Least-Favorite Part of Doing Laundry
September 22nd, 2022 Awake Goy Can we all take a moment of silence in honor of the days of infomercials past? In our Lord’s name, Billy Mays, we pray. There’s something so soothing about the familiar drone of an overexcited middle aged man hawking a product I desperately don’t need… wait, do I? It’s not like the ShamWow is the […]
This Stupid-Handy Gadget Handles My Least-Favorite Part of Doing Laundry
September 22nd, 2022 Awake Goy Can we all take a moment of silence in honor of the days of infomercials past? In our Lord’s name, Billy Mays, we pray. There’s something so soothing about the familiar drone of an overexcited middle aged man hawking a product I desperately don’t need… wait, do I? It’s not like the ShamWow is the […]
Are We In A Recession? A Handy Flowchart
July 29th, 2022 Awake Goy Apparently, the U.S. economy is in a recession right now, but who knows? We’re told by experts that recessions are bad, so it’s important to know whether you’re in one. Fortunately, our experts put together this handy flowchart to help you figure it out! Source
Is The Filibuster Racist? A Handy Flowchart
January 14th, 2022 Awake Goy Racism is everywhere, behind every corner, under every rock, always waiting to infect your mind like an extraterrestrial parasite when you least expect it. That’s why it’s our top priority at The Babylon Bee to help you not be racist at all times. Some politicians in Washington have announced that the filibuster is very very racist. […]
What Is Your Oppressed Intersectional Identity? Use This Handy Chart To Find Out!
October 6th, 2021 Awake Goy What Is Your Oppressed Intersectional Identity? Use This Handy Chart To Find Out! Brought to you by: Humans are varied. Some are old, some are fat, some are from Kentucky, and others are from Kenya. Some can touch the tip of their nose with their tongue, and others can flatulate on command. We all have […]
British Advice Given to Afghanistan Could Soon Come In Handy for Brits
September 14th, 2021 Awake Goy In recent years, Great Britain has increasingly become known not as the heir to the fighting traditions of the former British Empire but as a country of “advice.” And what, indeed, does it do facing the shameful failure of policy in Afghanistan, for example? However, Great Britain did not fail to “give advice” Afghans, indecently […]
Do You Have To Wear A Mask? A Handy Flowchart
May 20th, 2021 Awake Goy Mask or no mask? Vaccine or no vaccine? So many questions! Well, just two, really. But the government has made things very confusing with officials sending mixed signals about whether or not you need to wear a mask in different situations. Luckily, we identify as both experts and comedy writers having more than one joke. […]
FBI creates and foils terrorist plot aimed at those who question government
June 26th, 2016 Awake Goy The FBI once again appears to have averted a terrorist plot of its own manufacture by arresting 57-year-old William Keebler, a man from Stockton, Utah described in press accounts as a militia organizer exhibiting an “extreme hatred” for the federal government. A vociferous critic of the federal Bureau of Land Management who was present […]
‘Find My Car App’ for Mall Zombies Also Handy for Police
September 12th, 2011 FAKE NEWS for the Zionist agenda Ben Grubb The Sydney Morning Herald September 11, 2011 Westfield’s new app means you’ll never lose your car in the shopping centre again – and police now have at their fingertips technology to track down stolen and unregistered vehicles. Westfield Bondi Junction in Sydney recently added to its iPhone app the functionality for shoppers […]
