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December 24th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
After Seeing His Record-Low Hispanic Approval Ratings, Biden Resumes Construction On Border Wall
EL PASO, TX—Upon seeing disastrous results from a new NPR poll showing Hispanic approval at 41% and disapproval at 55%, President Biden ordered construction of the southern border wall to resume.
“I have decided, due to no other reason other than my own principles, that it is in our nation’s best interest to keep those invading Latinx out… er, I mean, have secure borders,” said Biden while deleting the song “Despacito” from his phone. “For too long have previous administrations allowed dangerous terrorists to infiltrate our great nation through our porous southern border, and that has to stop, fellas.”
“President Biden has always stood against illegal immigration,” said Jen Psaki, “In fact, he will soon propose an executive order mandating the expulsion of all Hispanics from our great nation…for, umm, security.”
When asked what her role would be in securing the southern border, Vice President Kamala Harris replied with an awkward laugh from her new residence inside an underground bunker on the northern tip of Greenland.
RED ALERT: this is not a joke. Elon Musk sat down with Babylon Bee CEO Seth Dillon, EIC Kyle Mann, and Creative Director Ethan Nicolle for an in-depth interview on wokeness, Elizabeth Warren, the Metaverse, and how the left is killing comedy.
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