Brittania Waives the Rules

Friedrich Nietzsche is credited with the observation that ‘England is the land of consummate cant’ (hypocrisy). This record is today challenged by Israel and the U.S. Nonetheless, Perfidious Albion looks set to top the sea charts for some time yet.

Some may take issue with the finger of accusation being jabbed at England rather than Britain. I prefer the term because Wales, Ireland and Scotland are little more than colonies of England themselves. Their combined population (10m) is similar to that of England’s capital (9m). They have only token representation in Westminster and little or no influence on main government departments.

Tommy Atkins

Tommy Atkins

Across the centuries England has invaded a staggering 90 per cent of the world’s countries. A new study reveals that of almost 200 countries only 22 have never experienced an English invasion. The 22 not invaded (yet) include Luxemburg, Guatemala, Tajikistan and the Marshall Islands in the Pacific.

Tommy Atkins in PalestineTommy Atkins in Palestine
Tommy Atkins in Palestine

All the Countries we’ve Ever Invaded authored by Stuart Laycock tells us that at its height the British Empire ruled a quarter of the world’s population. To acquire the dubious distinction of experiencing a British Army shit-kicker up one’s rectum one had to meet a criteria: Military incursion by force, threat of force, negotiation or bribe.

Tommy Atkins in India

Others include raids by English pirates, privateers and armed explorers if approved of by England’s regime. Costa Rica, Ecuador and El Salvador qualify for suffering repeated raids by English sailors. In 1940 Iceland was invaded by England for refusing to fight the Workers Reich.

Tommy Atkins in Iceland, 1940

France has suffered the longest from English ambitions and endured the first recorded English invasion. This was an incursion into Gaul in 197AD. As a debacle it rivalled the 20th century routs of the English at Norway and Dunkirk. In an eye-ball-to-eyeball confrontation between equally matched armies, England’s first Winston Churchill was defeated by Junius Severus. The latter was far less charitable than was Adolf Hitler. As an act of goodwill the German leader in 1940 spared the lives of 238,000 British troops who had been cornered in Dunkirk.

Tommy Atkins in AustriaTommy Atkins in Austria
Tommy Atkins in Austria

The less conciliatory Severus had General Albinus executed and his naked corpse pinned to the ground. Thereupon, the English were taught a sharp lesson in manners by the triumphant Severus who horse-trampled his foe’s body. The corpse of Winston Albinus was later decapitated and the remains with those of his family’s cadavers tossed contemptuously into the Rhine.

chien_tranh

chien_tranh

The Gaul humiliation was water off England’s back. England for the next 2,000 years went on to take out their revenge on the rest of the unfortunate world. This included The Legions of the Rhine who had given Rome’s rebellious General Clodius Albinus the one-finger salute when he had invaded Gaul in 197AD. Yes, Adolf Hitler could have learned much from Junius Severus.

 

A Curse for England

A curse for England, false and base
Where nothing can prosper but disgrace
Where crushed is each flower’s tender form,
And decay and corruption feed the worm,
The winner’s shout, the loser’s curse
Go with Old England’s black funeral hearse.

William Blake (1757~1827)

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