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April 2nd, 2013 
FAKE NEWS for the Zionist agenda
Aw, it’s Prom Night on Dancing with the Stars. On one hand, we have Zendaya– who’s too young to go to Prom. On the other hand, we have Lisa– who’s 35 years removed from hers.
I’m sure everyone is still reeling (“reeling”, I say!) after last week’s shocking (yea, “shocking!”) withdrawal of Dorothy. Lisa or Victor got a one-week reprieve, and everyone is ready to trip across the dance floor looking like something Captain Pastel threw up.
Away we go:
Aly & Mark (Viennese Waltz) – First of all, let’s all just chuckle politely about how amused Brooke is with herself. “I have big hair! Tee hee! Tom had sideburns in high school! Hee!” Okay, now that that’s done, shall we return our focus to the dancing? Aly once again turns in a strong performance– not quite as graceful as her earlier routines (those pesky 6-counts got in her head, apparently), but very nice… and kudos to Len on a killer April Fool, telling Aly (deadpan) he was not impressed.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 8, Bruno: 8
Andy & Sharna (Cha-Cha-Cha) – I thought these dances were supposed to include both a pro and a star… Sharna, I saw– she was the one gyrating in the skin-tight black leather catsuit. Didn’t see Andy at all. Huh. Oh wait, there’s some guy ripping open his shirt, and– what on Earth is that? My eyes!
Scores: Carrie Ann: 6, Len: 6, Bruno: 6
Ingo & Kym (Paso Doble) – Ingo, after calling poor little Kym his slut, offers a clunky Paso. During the whole thing I just kept thinking about how much better it would look if our old friend Gilles were doing the dancing. I’m sure, thanks to the ladies’ vote, Ingo will be around a while, but if it was just on his talent? Not so much.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 7, Bruno: 7
Lisa & Gleb (Viennese Waltz) – Gleb’s 100% right– Lisa does look like a dancer, as long as she’s not moving. In all fairness, this week does mark an improvement, but I think that’s because the Viennese Waltz is more her speed than, say, last week’s Jive. Now, about that shameless Twitter self-promotion. And the fact that her dog has a Twitter account…
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 7, Bruno: 7
Kellie & Derek (Jive) – It’s Kellie’s (and Zendaya’s) world, and we’re just living in it. Busting out a super-kickin’ Footloose homage, Kellie and Derek stake their claim for the top of the leaderboard. That might just be my favorite routine of the season so far, particularly with that double-twisty splits thing. How cray-cray was that? And, more importantly, what’s with Derek’s “mad wasp” face. Eww!
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 9, Bruno: 8
Victor & Lindsay (Contemporary) – Because it doesn’t have to include any sense of rhythm or timing, Contemporary looks good on Victor. Yes, it was his best dance so far, but that’s a little like saying Eclipse is the best Twilight film. Small win. And, um, judges? Ain’t no way that was as good as Aly’s Waltz (which also earned a 23).
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 7, Bruno: 8
D.L. & Cheryl (Salsa) – Hey, who knew? All D.L. had to do was find a dance where he could bring da funk. Sure, it had as much to do with the Salsa as an animal cracker, but it didn’t make me want to gouge out my eyes either.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 6, Len: 5, Bruno: 5
Jacoby & Karina (Rumba) – Good gravy, doesn’t anyone have a happy prom memory? D.L. pimped himself out, Victor was too poor to go, and now we hear that Jacoby got kicked out, and then his high school was destroyed by Katrina? Lord help us. Fortunately, JJ could translate it into a really, really nice Rumba. I think that’s the first time that Carrie Ann got almost-weepy this season. Awww.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 8, Bruno: 8
Wynonna & Tony (Samba) – Speaking of wanting to gouge out my eyes… Look away! I’m not entirely sure what kind of drug-induced lunacy led to the whole pole-dancing idea, but at least D.L. isn’t the official cellar-dweller anymore. Shout out to my Def Lep boys, too. Holla atcha, guys!
Scores: Carrie Ann: 5, Len: 5, Bruno: 5
Sean & Peta (Cha-Cha-Cha) – It started with him leading with the wrong foot on the walk in, and it went all downhill from there. Yes, Len, it was full of energy, but so is an earthquake and a landslide and a tornado. And someone falling down a flight of stairs.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 7, Bruno: 7
Zendaya & Val (Viennese Waltz) – Okay, here it is: there’s never been another time in the 16-season history of this show that a star/pro couple looked more like two professionals than Zendaya and Val. Even when she stumbles (a wee bit), it’s still poetry. Kellie’s close (and got the high score for the night), but Zendaya’s just a touch more graceful and balletic. And, for the love of all that’s holy, she’s only six-frickin’-teen!
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 8, Bruno: 8
Final Scores:
Kellie – 25
Zendaya – 24
Jacoby – 24
Victor – 23
Aly – 23
Ingo – 21
Lisa – 21
Sean – 21
Andy – 18
D.L. – 16
Wynonna – 15
Tomorrow night we get tuneage from Demi Lovato and Huey Lewis, and the second star hits the road. See you then.
I’ll be here all season, so go ahead– follow me on Twitter!
Source Article from http://www.examiner.com/article/dancing-with-the-stars-season-16-week-3-recap?cid=rss
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