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June 17th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
BALMORHEA, TX—After two weeks packing for their family vacation, the McMurdgeson family embarked on a much-anticipated driving tour of Wisconsin’s top ten county capitol buildings. The family found joy and harmony during the minivan’s entire trip out of the garage, over the driveway, and into the street.
The moment Mr. McMurdgeson shifted the family car into drive, four-year old Twimbly’s mysterious medical condition of vehicle-induced bladder shrinkage prompted pitstop requests every 20 minutes for the rest of the trip.
16-year old Dianabeth received a text-message breakup from her boyfriend before the family had even reached the freeway, and the inconsolable teenager’s wails drowned out the twins’ screaming and hair-pulling in the back seat.
Wilford the dog threw up after they passed the last exit for 73 miles. After pulling over and cleaning out Wilford’s travel crate with the one water bottle they had not forgotten, Mr. McMurdgeson took a moment and stared wistfully across the great American landscape. Eyes misty, he felt deep down that something was missing in his life.
The family turned around at Wichita, Kansas, having forgotten their 10-year old son, Kevin.
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