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July 10th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
CARLSBAD, CA—After confiscating a LEGO Capitol Building from one of the conspirators of the worst day in our nation’s history, January 6, FBI agents uncovered an even more sinister plot, saying the LEGO conspiracy is far worse than they had feared. They’ve traced the conspiracy all the way to the top, raiding a massive terrorist compound in Carlsbad, California.
“This place is terrifying,” murmured an FBI agent scoping out the place, which had big letters over the entrance saying “LEGOLAND.”
According to investigators, they found models of nearly every government building in D.C. throughout the park, models of a giant X-Wing and various other starfighters, and even people dressed up as LEGO characters — all of which point to a terrorist plot to blow a bunch of things up around the world and across the galaxy.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we got ’em,” said one agent as he put a man in a Ninjago costume into giant handcuffs and led him away. “These crazies won’t be causing any insurrections anymore. I can guarantee you that.”
The raid was fairly dangerous for many of the government agents. Some FBI agents tripped on a box of LEGO bricks in the gift shop, causing painful LEGO bricks to be scattered all across the floor. “We were lucky to escape with our lives.”
At publishing time, sources had confirmed there were other “LEGOLAND” terrorist cells in Florida, Malaysia, New York, and all across the world.
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