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December 14th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
HUNTSVILLE, AL—Local grandmother Jean Hanson lost another confrontation with her Alexa digital assistant while trying to ask her Echo device how the grandkids were doing, sources close to the woman confirmed.
“Hello Miss Alexa,” she said. “How are Aiden and Charlie doing?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t understand that,” Alexa replied.
“I said, ‘How are the grandkids?!'” she said, getting irritated.
“A ‘grandchild’ is the child of one’s son or daughter,” Alexa replied.
“NO! Aiden! How is Aiden?!” she shouted back.
Alexa’s friendly blue light glowed as she prepared her answer.
“Aidan is a modern version of a number of Celtic language names, including the Irish male given name Aodhán, the Scottish Gaelic given name Aodhàn and the Welsh name Aeddan.”
“No, we’re German, not Irish. My son just named my grandson ‘Aiden’ because he’s a millennial. Hello? Hello? Alexa? Alexa just show me my grandkids. Can you show them to me on a screen or something?”
“A ‘grandchild’ is the child of one’s son or daughter,” Alexa replied.
“Alexa, please order a giant hammer big enough to smash you with.”
According to sources, Mrs. Hanson is now composing a hand-written letter to fax to the Amazon people, expressing her disappointment with their product.
This Christmas, get the doll that will shame and terrify your children about the climate… Greta On The Shelf!
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