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February 14th, 2012 
FAKE NEWS for the Zionist agenda 
Two Internet Mat(t)s are currently battling out the similarities between two beloved, mass marketed products. After Slate’s Matt Yglesias made the comparison that “the Chipotle burrito is very similar to the iPhone,” an offended Mat Honan fired back with his definitive take “A Chipotle Burrito Is Not an iPhone” over at Gizmodo. Today the two — and a band of iPhone and Chipotle loyalists — took it to Twitter. After investigating both sides of the argument exhaustively, we have come to the conclusion that an iPhone both is and is not like a Chipotle burrito. Take a look and decide for yourself.
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The iPhone Is Like a Chipotle Burrito
- Successfully mass marketed. “It’s the iPhone in terms of market penetration and zeitgeist,” tweeted Tom Carmony.
- Costs more than other, similar sub-par options, like Taco Bell or Samsung flip phones.
- Use low paid assembly-line workers.
- Brought quality to the masses. “In many places Chipotle represents a burrito step up,” says Slate’s Farhad Manjoo.
- Innovative. “Chipotle stands out for some unusual process innovations as well. Their “barbecued” meat products—carnitas and barbacoa—are vacuum-packed and cooked sous-vide in Chicago before being shipped out for on-site reheating,” explains Yglesias.
- Game changer. “I’d say Chipotle’s growth speaks for itself. The fast food game is being changed,” tweeted Yglesias.
- Both have bars. “Chipotle has a salsa bar, and the iPhone has a Genius Bar”: from Honan, actually.
- Fits in one hand. (See above)
The iPhone Is Not Like a Chipotle Burrito
- “Chipotle burritos are terrible, iPhones are wonderful,” says Honan. A matter of opinion, but many agree on Twitter.
- “Not a game changing burrito,” writes Honan on Twitter, whereas the iPhone changed the entire cellular industry. “Overall burrito quality has not been positively affected by the Chipotle burrito,” he continues.
- Not a well-designed product. Honan again: “The Chipotle burrito, on the other hand, is typically put together without care … They typically stuff them so full that the ingredients come bursting out of the side, and it is impossible to eat the burrito vertically, as the good Lord intended burritos to be eaten.”
- An iPhone is not edible, can never grant the same type of pleasure as any foodstuff.
Though the “is like a Chipotle burrito” column has more bullet points than the “is not like a Chipotle burrito column,” we find both sides equally compelling.
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