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March 30th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
LOS ANGELES, CA—Kanye West has once again dropped a new line of limited edition shoes. This time, the highly anticipated shoes seem to be a response to the Lil Nas X shoes dubbed ‘Satan Shoes’.
“As Christians, we have the tools, the ability, and the power to create new and innovative sneakers that will change the world forever. And so using my creative genius and mastery, I was inspired to create ‘Jesus Shoes’,” said Kanye West, unveiling the new sneakers.
“I’m real happy for Lil Nas X’s career and all, but these are going to be the greatest sneakers of all time. Of all time.”
The shoes are based on Nike’s Air Max ‘97, with a few key differences. The shoes include multiple Bible verses, Christian symbols, and the title of Kanye’s most recent album– ‘Jesus Is King’.
“I even included water in the heel so everyone can walk on water just like Jesus!” added Kanye. “All pairs will also include a drop of wine in the sole signifying Jesus’ atoning blood.”
Kanye continued that he believes these shoes are going to be way bigger than even his Yeezy’s are. Unfortunately for many, Mr. West has announced that he only plans on making 777 pairs to contrast the 666 pairs of ‘Satan Shoes’.
The ‘Jesus Shoes’ are expected to be sold for 7 easy payments of $316.
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