Not a Tall Story

Joe Stalin, the West’s favourite dictator, has his image laundered as much as does Winston Churchill. Born Dzhugashvili (pronounced Jug Ash Willy) genial Uncle Joe is sometimes pictured with pig-tailed Svetlana sat on his knee. In truth, the little Red Pioneer might have shrieked at the mere thought of being in the same room as the Bolshevik despot.

Stalin, Truman, and ChurchillStalin, Truman, and Churchill
Stalin, Truman, and Churchill

The long and short of it was that Stalin was vertically challenged. At 5.4” he narrowly missed qualifying for a dwarf throwing contest. U.S President Harry S. Truman (5.7”) referred to Stalin as ‘the little squirt’. Media’s favourite Bolshevik preferred his photographs to be taken from down under.

Stalin’s left arm was shorter than his right arm and prone to stiffness. As if fate hadn’t burdened him enough Stalin suffered adjoined toes, a polite way of describing web feet. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it’s a duck.

Had Stalin stood web-toe to toe with Adolf Hitler who ‘weighed in’ at a manlier 5.10” the two would hardly have seen eye-to-eye. In fact, the dwarfish Georgian would find himself looking directly at Hitler’s moustache. This famous moustache was shortened to make the German war hero’s mask safe from gas contamination. Stalin, who couldn’t tell a battlefield from a beet field, would not have known that.

Apart from having feet you could eat bananas with plus a short arm, what were Stalin’s other shortcomings? Because his face was badly scarred by smallpox, young Jug Ash Willy had the kind of face only a mother could love. In truth, the darling of liberal-left presstitutes was an ugly little bastard.

Mugshot of young JoeMugshot of young Joe
Mugshot of young Joe

The dictator was acutely aware of his ugliness and physical failings. Artists and photographers who took unflattering images were either shot or exiled to the Gulag.

Joe’s father, a habitual drunkard, had been prone to giving both wife and son the back of his hand. Addicted to alcohol Stalin’s dad once bankrupted his cobbler’s business. The crunch had come when, after assaulting a local police chief, his father was told to get out of town. Joe and his mother were abandoned.

When you’re in a hole you stop digging; in Jug Ash Willy’s case he had started praying. At 16-years of age the lad was slotted into Tiflis Spiritual Seminary. This could be so-called as such places are notorious for passing seminal fluids from one deflowered priest to another.

Purchase on AmazonPurchase on Amazon
Purchase on Amazon

Spectacular fail! Within 12-months the novice priest had decided that he was better cut out for atheism. It didn’t help either that the boy, who had drawn the short straw of life, was unable to meet the school fees. The hapless student was told to go and not slam the door behind him.

So, we now have a dwarfish runt with webbed toes, a chip on his shoulder, a scarred face, a student failure, and one arm shorter than the other. What else could possibly go wrong for the media’s not so genial Joe?

Stalin in fact had a chip on his good shoulder too. He successfully dodged the draft until in his mid-thirties military service caught up with him. The army didn’t like him either. Stalin was told to bugger off because of his deformities.

“A revolutionary I will be,” thought foxy Joe. From there on the cobbler’s runt organised strikes, raised funds through kidnappings, bank robberies, extortions, and was adept at carrying out assassinations.

Stalin was twice nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize (1945 / 1948) and Times Man of the Year (1939 / 1942). Presumably the first occasion was for his unsuccessfully invading Finland and in 1942 for his Red-Face Army being routed and then saved by the U.S and England.

Click on the file to see a short presentation of Trotsky White Negroes

Source Article from http://www.renegadetribune.com/not-tall-story/

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