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December 11th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
CHICAGO, IL—Smollett has been detained after his conviction pending his sentencing hearing. But he’s already run into trouble, immediately claiming that two prison guards wearing MAGA hats attacked him while shouting “This is MAGA country!”
“I have been assaulted and attacked and I feared for my life,” Smollett said in a statement. “I was minding my own business making a license plate for Kamala Harris and they came up to me wearing their red caps of hate. That’s when I knew I was in trouble.”
According to Smollett, the prison guards pushed him up against the wall and started beating him, telling him to “get out of here” and shouting “this is MAGA country” while repeatedly pummeling him.
“I barely escaped with my life,” he said, tears in his eyes.
It was later revealed that the two prison guards were actually two Nigerians and that Jussie isn’t in prison yet.
This Christmas, get the doll that will shame and terrify your children about the climate… Greta On The Shelf!
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