Oyster: 5 Hotels Begging For A One-Night Stand (PHOTOS)

June 22nd, 2012

FAKE NEWS for the Zionist agenda

We all like to get loose on vacation, and sometimes that means bringing strangers back to our rooms for afterhours fun (no judgments here, folks).

Though many of our steamy hotels make for great couples retreats, a few of our favorites stand out for their one-night-only perks. All of these sexy spots offer up comfy beds and free breakfast, just in case your date — what was their name again? — happens to stick around for bacon and eggs.

So whether you’re in the mood for some hot and heavy tub action or a fireplace to cozy up next to — plus the grub to soak up last night’s hangover — each of these hotels offer a little something extra for your perfect one-night stand.

— Devon Antonetti, Oyster.com

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WANTED: A Sure Thing

strongIdeal Hunting Grounds:a href=”” target=”_hplink”Tortuga Bay — Dominican Republic/a/strong

At Tortuga Bay, it’s hard emnot/em to get laid. All suites and villas at Tortuga Bay have in-room Jacuzzis, which are converted into private love tubs each night at turndown, complete with scented rose petals and lit candles. The resort also hosts its share of weddings, where bridesmaids and drunk singles are practically begging to go home with whom — or what — ever. And if for some reason, the Jacuzzi and wedding party fall through, prostitution is in fact legal in the Dominican Republic.
WANTED: Down-Under Fun

strongIdeal Hunting Grounds: a href=”” target=”_hplink”Altamont Hotel — Sydney, Australia/a/strong

When famed-mouthpiece Mick Jagger goes down under, he stays in the Loft Room (not unlike the a href=”” target=”_hplink”Deluxe King/a) at the Altamont Hotel in Sydney. The boutique hotel is close to nightlife on the lively Oxford Street, and has its own rooftop lounge. Altamont was even a popular rock nightclub before being converting to an inn, all-around making it the perfect spot to bust out your moves like Jagger.
WANTED: All-Natural Loving

strongIdeal Hunting Grounds: a href=”http://www.oyster.com/jackson-hole/hotels/alpenhof-lodge/” target=”_hplink”Alpenhof Lodge — Jackson Hole, WY/a/strong

Though staying at this lodge in Teton Village is far from roughing it, guests do tend to be on the earthy side. With its proximity to ski lifts, Snake River, and Wyoming’s most voluptuous backdrop (“tetons,” of course, being French for “breasts”), Alpenhof Lodge attracts the kind of outdoorsy types that aren’t afraid to show off their natural sides. For a night on the Tetons, guests can find their perfect-for-tonight match at one the lodge’s complimentary fondue parties.
WANTED: The All-American Hottie Next Door

strongIdeal Hunting Grounds: a href=”http://www.oyster.com/maine/hotels/hidden-pond/” target=”_hplink”Hidden Pond — Kennebunkport, ME/a/strong

Like all things New England, the cottages at Hidden Pond in Maine are quaint, charming, and accentuated with hints of luxury. So if you’ve been on the prowl for the perfect place to bed that all-American hookup from the farmer’s market next door, look no further. The family-owned cottages are decorated like they’re straight out of an Ethan Allen catalog, with private fireplaces and outdoor showers. And if that doesn’t make you two blush from sexy cuteness, the morning muffin basket deliveries will.
WANTED: Steamy South Florida Sex

strongIdeal Hunting Grounds: a href=”http://www.oyster.com/miami/hotels/the-standard-miami/” target=”_hplink”The Standard Miami/a/strong

There’s a reason this hotel doesn’t permit anyone under 14 on the property. a href=”http://www.oyster.com/miami/hotels/roundups/best-hotels-to-go-topless-in-miami/” target=”_hplink”Voted one of Oyster’s favorite places to go topless in Miami/a (and that’s saying something), The Standard is also one of the few places in Miami where locals actually pay to hang out. The hotel maintains its own South Beach party scene thanks to the co-ed sauna and 24-hour pool, making it the perfect spot for evaluating your options before heading back upstairs. Oh, and did we mention that pictured above is the Missionary Room? Yup. Seriously. Although we hope you’ll be more creative.