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November 8th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
U.S.—Under its Playskool Friends line of toys, Hasbro has released an exciting new Elmo doll: Vaccinate Me Elmo.
When you jab the new doll with the included plastic syringe, he starts having heart palpitations and cries from the pain, for a more realistic experience. He vibrates and shakes from the side effects, and kids will love watching him writhe on the ground complaining of arm and chest pain.
“We hope this toy encourages young children to get the vaccine,” said Hasbro founder and CEO Bob Hasbro. “They’ll have so much fun poking Elmo in the arm and watching as he cries from the arm pain, all to avoid a disease that almost certainly would not have killed him.”
The doll says fun phrases like “Elmo loves complying with government mandates, ha ha ha!” and “Ivermectin is not approved by the FDA, ha ha!” Other phrases include the following:
- Mask up or you’ll die!
- Elmo loves experimental vaccines!
- Why do you want to kill grandma?
- Comply or die!
- F— anti-maskers!
- We’re all in this together — or else! Haha!
At publishing time, Hasbro had announced another toy in the line of lovable Elmo dolls: Vaccinate You Elmo, a fun interactive plushie that chases your kids, pins them down, and gives them the jab.
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