Prosecutors Move For Mistrial As Jury Has Been Tainted By Clear Video Evidence Of Kyle Rittenhouse Defending Himself

Prosecutors Move For Mistrial As Jury Has Been Tainted By Clear Video Evidence Of Kyle Rittenhouse Defending Himself

KENOSHA, WI—Prosecutors in the Kyle Rittenhouse murder trial have asked the judge to declare a mistrial after the defense team produced clear video evidence of Rittenhouse defending himself against a wave of violent Communists. 

“This isn’t fair!” said the prosecuting attorney. “This clear, undeniable video evidence of Rittenhouse epically sending wave after wave of zombie-like Antifa thugs back to the abyss from whence they came—entirely in self-defense, we might add—has permanently tainted this case.” 

Sources say that as the video played, the entire court oohed and ahhed at the sight of the epic chad Kyle Rittenhouse defending the safety of his friends and neighbors against “a bloodthirsty horde of white Commies and child molesters” who were trying to burn down the city.

As the video faded to black, the entire jury rose to their feet in applause, chanting “KYLE! KYLE! KYLE!”

The prosecutors have requested a retrial in Serbia where they don’t speak English or have video screens to play video evidence. “If we don’t do this,” they said, “white supremacy has won.” 


Liberal Parent Trying To Figure Out How To Cheer For His Son Brandon


Subscribe to The Babylon Bee on YouTube


Source

You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Leave a Reply

Powered by WordPress | Designed by: Premium WordPress Themes | Thanks to Themes Gallery, Bromoney and Wordpress Themes