Posts Tagged ‘selects’

Wife Carefully Selects Perfect Fall Mums To Kill

U.S. — According to sources, wives across the nation have begun their yearly autumn ritual in which they carefully select pots of autumn-colored mums they wish to take home and immediately kill. “Fall is here! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” said a spokeswife for the American Wives Union in an official statement. “Soon our front porches will be decked […]

Smoke Detector Carefully Selects 4 AM On Weeknight To Malfunction

RAWLINS, WY—Seeing the family sleeping peacefully in their beds with a busy weekday ahead of them, a local smoke detector judiciously chose 4 am as the perfect time to malfunction. “REEEEE-REEEEE-REEEEE-REEEEE-REEEEE,” blared the smoke detector, jolting the panicked family awake in the perfectly smoke-free house. It looked down with pride from the ceiling as two […]

Biden Selects AG Who Prosecuted Pro-Life Investigator to Lead Dept. of Health and Human Services

Joe Biden announced on Monday that he has nominated California Attorney General Xavier Becerra to be the next secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). The pick was denounced by pro-life groups and others, who noted that Becerra is “aggressively pro-abortion” as he defended a state law requiring pregnancy centers to provide […]

Danish Prime Minister selects new minister following mink culling scandal

Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen has appointed a new agriculture minister after Mogens Jensen resigned for illegally ordering the culling of all minks in Denmark. Development Cooperation Minister Rasmus Prehn has been selected to take over from Jensen. The mass cull was ordered after a mutated form of coronavirus was found in the mink population. […]

Can someone please send me the section of the Constitution where the media selects the POTUS?

Can someone please send me the section of the Constitution where the media selects the POTUS? Thanks! I missed it when I looked. — Dan Bongino (@dbongino) November 7, 2020

Joe Biden selects California Senator Kamala Harris as running mate

Joe Biden named California Sen. Kamala Harris as his running mate on Tuesday, making history by selecting the first Black woman to compete on a major party’s presidential ticket and acknowledging the vital role Black voters will play in his bid to defeat President Donald Trump. “I have the great honor to announce that I’ve […]

Rouhani selects Jahangiri as vice-president again

In a decree on Tuesday, President Rouhani said he has decided to keep Jahangiri in his position given his commitment, merits, and experience of serving in various executive and legislative positions. Jahangiri, 60, used to serve as the minister of industries and mines under former Iranian President Mohammad Khatami from 1997 to 2005. Before that, […]

China selects site for simulated Mars colony, doubling as tourist attraction

READ MORE: Red Planet Reconnaissance: Watch 10yrs of Mars exploration in under 3 minutes (VIDEO) An agreement to build a “Mars village” in the province’s Haixi Mongolian and Tibetan autonomous Prefecture was signed on Tuesday, China News Service reported. The region is part of the vast Tibet Plateau, with a desert occupying three-fourths of the […]

Cinematic Résumé

by Professor Revilo P. Oliver (July 1992) A very popular motion picture entitled “J.F.K.” has recently redirected attention to the assassination of President Kennedy in Dallas on 22 November 1963. It also stirred up sleeping snakes in the Dismal Swamp on the banks of the Potomac. Certain facts have been established beyond reasonable doubt: 1. […]

Many worlds, subterranean edition

Scanning electron microscope blue-tinted image of a nematode on biofilm, collected from Kopanang mine almost one mile below surface. Credit: Borgonie, ELi One of the richest lines of research for those thinking about life beyond Earth has been the world of microscopic creatures that live in especially extreme and hostile environments here. The realm of […]

Cop Reported for Steroid Drug Deals INSIDE Police Station in Uniform

Around four months ago, central Pennsylvania Police Officer Matthew McMurray pulled over a man for a traffic violation. This person did not have a driver’s license, but he agreed to pass on some information about drug activity to the cop. Instead of pursuing the matter for its illegal nature, […]

Labor’s future could depend on how it selects its leader

Prime Minister Julia Gillard hanging tough during question time at Parliament House. Photo: Andrew Meares If Julia Gillard’s leadership is terminal, should she go quietly or put up a fight? THEY say a good transition is a smooth transition. At least, that’s the theory. So the beleaguered leader is visited by a trusted party elder. […]

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