Jew World Order

We’re at a bit of a turning point in our vision quest, because we’re mature enough to own a bed frame but not rich enough to own a Dyson vacuum. We want all the nice things, but we also don’t want to spend all of our hard-earned coins on inanimate objects (dildos excluded) when we could be saving up to attend Gloucestershire’s annual cheese-rolling competition. Finding the right couch fits somewhere in the middle of those priorities—even more so now that we’re zhuzhing our homes for summer entertaining.

Unfortunately, couches can easily be one of the more expensive pieces of furniture in your home. (Which is fair, considering they’re usually where we pass out on every night the hub of the action.) But, as your resident lairds of shopping and deals, deals, deals, we also refuse to believe that you have to spend thousands of dollars to have a couch that doesn’t suck. A scratch-proof couch shouldn’t break the bank, nor should a sleeper sofa feel out of reach if you have less than a grand to spend.

Hell, we think you shouldn't have to spend more than $500 in this day and age of cuckoo-bananas prices and stomach-dropping markups. If you sofa-sleuth hard enough, you can find a cheap sofa that looks rich, feels comfy, and won’t lose its shape. Such sleuthing is easier said than done, but that’s why we’re here, sport. [Tousles your hair.]

Whether you’re dreaming of an affordable Cloud couch alternative or sexy mid-century modern settee, we’ve found the best cheap sofas (that look pricier than they are) for under $500. These are sofas that everyone from your mother to your Tinder date would approve of, whether you’re looking for a short-term seating solution that doesn’t feel like corrugated cardboard, or the kind of name brand couch you’ll snooze on for years.

The best cheap couches from our favorite, well-vetted vintage site

We know, we know—you’ve been doing Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist for ages. But that’s time-consuming, and you have more important things to do this summer than tending to weird email exchanges with someone named Randy. Kaiyo is the swish, online furniture and home decor marketplace that’s like heaven for tired, thrift-savvy 30-something-year-olds who finally have a little more coinage/a full-time job and a newfound thirst for investing in high-quality vintage furniture that’s been professionally cleaned. (We repeat: PROFESSIONALLY CLEANED.) You know exactly what you’re getting (expect exact dimensions on everything) with Kaiyo, and you know exactly when you’re getting it—thanks to a customizable shipping process. You can get up to 90% off of the brands dotting your Pinterest boards, including West Elm, CB2, Restoration Hardware, and on personality pieces, such as this 1970s floral couch, which is 60% off and just begging to be on the set of Euphoria.

Speaking of Euphoria, this 75% off Pierre Deux chaise lounge is a ‘Frasurbane’ dream. At six feet in length, it has plenty of room for you to stretch out and disassociate to the sound of 90s TV commercial compilations.

This Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams gray couch is over seven feet long, 75% off, and could easily match so many aesthetics, from cottagecore to Japandi. Think of how enticing it would look with one of West Elm’s best-selling bouclé throws, and a copy of The Four Agreements staged on its folds before your Tinder date comes over?

It’s pretty common knowledge that hot people (especially bisexuals) have velvet couches, and this sexy little light blue number from Urban Outfitters will add a nice pop of color to any space.

The best affordable Cloud couch dupes

Restoration Hardware’s Cloud couch has become one the most celeb-coveted furniture pieces in recent years because it brings a comfy, yet breezy, aesthetic into the home. (And, yes, it’s also on Kaiyo for a couple thousand dollars less.) The best way to tap into that vibe on a budget is to look for eggshell-colored cushions, linen fabrics, and an overall minimalistic silhouette.

This shockingly affordable cream couch on Amazon has four stars, and customers are saying it packs a surprising amount of cuddle room into its medium-firm cushions. Don’t regret buying this one bit,” one reviewer writes. “This is the perfect sized sofa for any small bedroom [or] living space that fits two people with ease. Me and my girlfriend spend a lot of time on the sofa enjoying our favorite shows.”

There’s no shortage of cozy white couches on Kaiyo, but this modern slipcovered sofa is a whopping 82% off, and offers the kind of ample space that the Cloud couch is famous for with its 37-inch deep cushions. Curling up in the fetal position hasn’t looked this good since “nap time” was part of school.

The best couch that doubles as sex furniture

Everyone’s thinking it, we’re just saying it—all furniture is sex furniture if you get creative, but the butter churner is done better on some couches than others. Any Nugget-esque modular couch will be a slam dunk for lounging in front of the TV, knitting with your friends, or [redacted] your [redacted]. You may recall when the über comfy Nugget sofa—a favorite modular sofa of parents, yoga studios, and other situations begetting squishy yet firm furniture—went viral last year when the Nugget laity found out about of the “Nugget After Dark” corner of the web (exactly what it sounds like), and we’re forever grateful. Why wouldn’t you want a couch that moonlights as excellent sex furniture? Plus, there’s zero assembly required, easily washable covers, and endless, ahem, “seating” possibilities. This Nugget dupe comes in a distinguished shade of jade, capable of saying both, “I know how to keep my plants alive” and “I own luxury Ben Wa balls.”

The best affordable mid-century modern couches

There’s some impressive mid-century-modern-style furniture hiding on Amazon, from reimaginings of Marcel Breuer’s iconic Wassily chair to chrome lamps that will dangle over your living room like it’s the summer of 1967. This 4.5-star rated, dark-walnut-finished Baxton Studio couch is more settee than sleeper sofa, but that doesn’t mean it’s not as versatile in its own way. It’s a steal at around $300, and a perfect fit for some handsome foyer seating, a loveseat for a smaller apartment, or additional seating for your guests to get cozy in your living room. “Very easy to assemble and comfortable,” writes one customer. “It fits perfectly in our office.”

This one is half couch and half chair (chofa??), but let’s just call it what it really is: your new pedestal. This mini-couch does the same thing for us that a spinning, circular 1960s bed would, only it’s far easier to style in the home. It has a 4.7-star average rating on Wayfair, is 34% off, and comes with a timeless, faux-leather finish. Pair it with a shag rug and a Noguchi lamp, and people will think you’re much more well read than you actually are.

The best affordable sectional

The best sectionals and modular sofas tend to be on the pricier side, because you’re ultimately asking for more couch—which is understandable—but doesn’t always square up with our price-slashing souls. This Honbay brand sectional has a 4.1-star average rating from over 8,900 reviews on Amazon, with one customer writing, “I definitely recommend this couch to others, especially for the price! I can’t say enough good things about it; It’s comfortable, affordable, easy to assemble, easy to clean, and the perfect size.”

The best affordable sleeper sofa

We said we were cheap—not lonely. We need a couch worthy of our jabronis’ sweet, sleepy heads when they crash after a night out/a sleeper sofa that won’t hurt our back when the parents come to town and we’re self-exiled to the living room. The Perdue sofa has a 4.5-star average rating and over 17,000 reviews (so, a whole village) on Wayfair singing its praises, and the golden colorway is currently on sale for 42% off. “We absolutely love this sleeper sofa,” writes one reviewer. “It's sleek, classy, and has a firm seat. The velvet sheen is gorgeous.”

You’re a vampire

We’re pretty sure we’ve seen this 4.7-star rated Wayfair loveseat on What We Do in the Shadows or somewhere in Dita Von Teese’s immaculate Old Hollywood home. The velvet emerald cushions would look perfect in a space with brick or dark wood, as either a foyer love seat or a personality couch for your living room. Ideally, you’ll always have an expensive-looking house robe draped over its side.     

Now go put up your feet, and enjoy a shrimp cocktail.

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.

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