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June 29th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
To Appease China, Disney Changes Name Of Boba Fett’s Ship From ‘Slave I’ To ‘Uyghur Slave I’
BURBANK, CA—Ever since Disney’s purchase of Lucasfilm, they have been wrestling with how to handle some of the more problematic aspects of Star Wars universe. High on the list has been the name of bounty hunter Boba Fett’s ship, “Slave I”, due to its triggering association with slaves, and the Roman numeral “I”.
In order to appease Chinese markets, Disney has announced they will be changing the name of the iconic Firespray-31-class patrol and attack craft from “Slave I” to “Uyghur Slave I”.
CEO Bob Chapek celebrated the name change as a win for progress and inclusivity. “Everyone knows the best way to ensure progress in race relations is to change the names of fictional spacecraft from old movie franchises,” he said in a statement. “Now that I think about it, ‘Uyghur Slave I’ is pretty catchy! Uyghur slaves in China won’t be offended because President Xi has assured me they don’t even exist! Win-win! Right side of history! Yay!”
According to sources, Uyghur slave laborers are already hard at work making new t-shirts with the brand new name emblazoned on them.
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