Want a chuckle over what the pro-President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan Turkish media has been broadcasting to corroborate the Machiavellian heroism of the downing of a Russian jet? One of Turkey’s most predominant channels hosted a professor of politics and the ex-minister of education in the Justice and Development Party (AKP) government on a sacred duty to disseminate highly far-fetched facts on a TV program last week. Here is a garden of queer points purported by these two scholars with unprecedented merriment:

  • Erdoğan is the Braveheart of the globe… The only man on earth who challenged Israel and made it apologize, and the only hero who said firmly “Stop!” to Russian President Vladimir Putin. No one has been able to dare attack a Russian jet since World War II.
  • Russia is a more dangerous threat to the world than the U.S… The U.S. is not chasing after an expansionist policy; rather they are seeking solutions to the havoc daunting the earth whilst Russia is in pursuit of reviving the Soviet dream… The annexation of Crimea, the Georgian war and the occupation of Syria by Russia proves this and we need the U.S. to confront the re-emergence of communism.
  • Russia is a weak state with a highly vulnerable economy fundamentally relying on oil. A reduction in oil prices will obliterate it soon. A war with Turkey can be their imminent demise.
  • Even Russians do not love Russia… No Russian would make it to the battlefield in the event of war… There is no patriotism in Russian society… A Russian soldier is a desperately drunk one that will exchange his tank or even a nuclear weapon just for a bottle of vodka.
  • Russian society is an exorbitantly corrupt one… No morals or family values exist… A low birth rate and alcoholism will lead to their downfall soon.
  • Russia has no allies apart from Iran and Syria… China has nothing to do with Russia, a broke and deceitful state. Such isolation will soon topple Putin, a dictator who is assassinating opponents and non-conformist journalists.

Comment: Whew, this is a particularly stinky one. The Turkish state has done precisely this – assassinated opponents and non-conformist journalists – in recent weeks, while no evidence exists of the Russian state doing such in Putin’s reign.

  • Russia hosts more than 50 million Muslims who will side with Erdoğan in the event of war.
  • Russians had not existed on Earth as a race until the 17th century… The earliest Turco-Russian war, which took place in the 17th century, proves this. They were nomadic and uncivilized.
  • Within 30 years, there will be only two superpowers in the world: China and Turkey. The whole world is conscious of this and in panic to hinder such an occurrence.

Comment: This is what we’ve suspected for some time: Sultan Erdogan has delusions of superpower grandeur.

  • Dostoyevsky once claimed that a cross must be placed at the top of the Hagia Sophia. This was a dream and will remain a dream eternally. This is a lucid indication of Russia’s never-ending sinister intentions over Istanbul, a holy setting for the Orthodox Church. Istanbul must be designated the capital of Turkey again.
  • Turkish is the world’s oldest language with a vocabulary of 1.5 million words, whereas English only has half a million words. It is a rarely known fact that Shakespeare was a pure Turk.

Had enough of a chuckle? I bet yes!

It is of paramount significance to note that these ideas do not represent all of Turkish media and society. In contrast to a pro-Erdoğan media that is on the verge of proclaiming the new Ottoman Empire with disinformation, the secular media and society in Turkey is deeply concerned about the Islamization of the state and Erdoğan’s frenzied and obscure foreign policy.

Pro-Putinism in Turkey is an undeniable fact and has been on the rise among the left-wing. The exponents of Atatürkism, an array of sweeping political, social, cultural and religious reforms constructed to separate the new Turkish state from its Ottoman predecessor, are highly skeptical about the government’s current foreign policy and the war in Syria. Fundamental Islam and the exodus of immigrants are deemed an immense threat to the core tenets of secularism and liberalism in Turkey. Now, Turkey’s perilous game with Russia is a controversial one that will clearly not benefit Turkey and critics of Erdoğan are labelled “Homo-Sovieticus” and “commies” – in other words, Islamophobic traitors.

Call it utter patriotism or flag-waving, but the early symptoms insinuate an intense case of “Don Quixote Syndrome” for pro-Erdoğan media, pursued by impractical and non-functional idealism.