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April 26th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
LOS ANGELES, CA—The 2021 Oscars ceremonies have been delayed after local authorities were forced to clear out a large tent city that had sprung up at Union Station overnight.
“Ew! Get them away from me! Get them away!” shrieked a terrified Gwyneth Paltrow as local cops doused the camp with a large aerosol can of “Hobo-B-Gone” spray. More cops soon arrived with tactical gear and machine guns to remove the unwanted blight from the presence of Hollywood royalty.
The event was further delayed after award presenters Joaquin Phoenix and Sean Penn were mistaken for hobos and hauled off to prison.
“We are so sorry for this unfortunate delay,” said Governor Gavin Newsom to the one reporter who is still attending his press conferences. “We are looking for a holding area for all these smelly hobos so the event can continue undisturbed.”
More confusion ensued, however, after it was discovered that most of the tent city inhabitants were Oscar nominees who can no longer afford to live in LA.
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