Emma Frost, raped by father who forced her to play wife, reveals how decade of abuse tore her apart

  • Terrified Emma Frost, from Clacton, Essex, never informed on her father. ‘I thought no one would believe me’ she says
  • Emma, now 22, is speaking out to help other victims of sexual abuse

By
Deborah Andrews

07:52 EST, 30 April 2012

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11:27 EST, 30 April 2012

A daughter forced to act as her father’s ‘wife’ has waived her right to anonymity to help other abuse victims. Emma Frost, 22, was left devastated after suffering a decade of sexual abuse at the hands of her father.

Now, after seeing him jailed for life, she is taking the brave step of sharing her story in the hopes she can help others who have suffered a similar plight.

Emma, from Clacton, Essex, says: ‘I stayed
silent for years because I thought nobody would believe me.

‘Your
parent is the person you are supposed to turn to for help, but he was
the one abusing me. I felt trapped and it tore me apart.’

Tragic: Emma Frost was subjected to a decade of sexual abuse at the hands of her father

Tragic: Emma Frost was subjected to a decade of sexual abuse at the hands of her father, who forced her to live with him as a ‘wife’, raping her regularly and making her serve him

Now a proud parent herself, Emma says she was relieved her father was jailed, but she will 'have the memories forever'. 'I suffered in silence for too long and I want to help other young women,' she says

Now
a proud parent herself, Emma says she was relieved her father was
jailed, but she will ‘have the memories forever’. ‘I suffered in silence
for too long and I want to help other young women,’ she says

Christopher Frost, 45, began abusing his daughter when she was nine years old.

‘I remember the first time I was watching TV in the lounge when he came in and sat next to me for a cuddle. But he had a towel in his hand and draped it across our laps.

Afterwards her dad told her that was a
‘special cuddle’ – something that would go on to happen more and more
frequently over the next few years.

‘I
knew it was wrong and I hated it, but I didn’t feel able to tell anyone
so instead I started releasing my anger by playing up at school.’

Eventually unable to cope with her worsening behaviour, her mum put her into care in 2001 weeks before she turned 12.

Emma, pictured as a child with her sisters, says the sexual abuse from her father started when she was nine. 'He called it

Emma,
pictured as a child with her sisters, says the sexual abuse from her
father started when she was nine. ‘He called it “special cuddles” and it
began happening more and more frequently,’ she says

‘They didn’t understand what was
wrong with me so my family just thought I was out of control and a
nightmare. They couldn’t cope so I had to go.’

Life in the children’s home was tough and Emma had no visitors apart from her father.

‘People can’t understand why I let him visit me, but without him I had nobody. I was just a frightened little girl.’

Every few months her father would take her into town and tried to win her trust back by buying her cigarettes and alcohol.

When Emma turned 15, her father came
to visit with the news that her mother had left him and asked Emma if
she would like to leave the children’s home and come to live with him.

As a result of the sustained sexual abuse, Emma's behaviour worsened - and her mother, unable to cope, sent her to a children's home

As a result of the sustained sexual abuse, Emma's behaviour worsened - and her mother, unable to cope, sent her to a children's home

As a result of her father’s abuse, Emma became
unruly. Unable to cope, her mother sent her to a children’s home, aged
just 12. Her father was the only one to visit and, when he split from
her mother, he persuaded Emma, pictured here in her teens at the height
of the abuse, to move into his house where he would rape her

‘Naively
I thought anything was better than the children’s home. I also hoped he
had changed as it had been more than three years since he had touched
me,’ she says now.

In December 2004 Emma moved in to her
father’s home. At first, Frost did not touch his young daughter.
Instead, he insisted the teenager was to be responsible for all the
housework.

‘He said if I
wanted to stay I had to do all the cooking and cleaning. In effect I was
taking on my mum’s role in the house,’ she says.

A few weeks after she had moved in, Emma came home to find Frost drunk. Enraged, he shouted at Emma for leaving him on his own.

The
next morning, he came to Emma’s room to apologise for losing his
temper, and offered her a bottle of Bailey’s to make amends.

Emma's father, Christopher Frost, pictured with Emma, right, as a teenager, was found guilty of sexual abuse in 2011 and was sentenced to life in prison

Emma's father, Christopher Frost, pictured with Emma, right, as a teenager, was found guilty of sexual abuse in 2011 and was sentenced to life in prison

Emma’s father, Christopher Frost, pictured with
Emma, right, as a teenager, was found guilty of sexual abuse in 2011 and
was sentenced to life in prison

Frost
began pouring his young daughter large glasses of the liqueur. Before
long, Emma was blind drunk and overwhelmed by nausea.

She
fell asleep on her bed and awoke to find her father touching her – but
she was too trapped in her drunken stupor to scream or move. When she
finally came around, she began piecing together the harrowing events.

‘I
confronted him but he denied it and said I must have been dreaming. But
just days later I woke up to find him touching me again and I lashed
out.’

Emma was so frightened that she head-butted her father.

His reaction was to warn her angrily
that if she ever lashed out against him again, he would take her back to
the children’s home.

Terrified Emma felt she had no choice but to comply.

By
now, her father’s behaviour had grown yet more twisted. He had started
calling Emma by her mother’s name, and would force her to serve him.

One night in January 2005 he made his daughter get out of bed at one am to cook him a roast dinner.

While she was peeling the vegetables she saw he was lighting candles in the sitting room.

Then he laid a blanket on the floor and called her in to join him. Despite her horrified pleas, Emma’s father raped her.

When it was over he ordered her to continue cooking – and then forced her to sit opposite him to eat the meal.

Christopher Frost was sentenced to a minimum 10 years and 10 months and added to the sex offenders register indefinitely

Christopher Frost was sentenced to a minimum 10 years and 10 months and added to the sex offenders register indefinitely

‘I knew then that it was some sick fantasy that I was his wife and we were having a romantic night, I felt sick but had nowhere to turn, I’ve never been so afraid.

That night she was forced to sleep in his bed with him. Life at home became a living hell as the abuse continued.

Against all odds, Emma managed to enjoy brief moments of normality by having secret boyfriends.

‘Even though I was being abused, having real boyfriends was my way of not letting dad own me. It was a way of feeling normal,’ she says.

Emma was working in a chip shop to raise money to escape when she met Graham Brett, 30. They started dating in secret. But one day, Emma’s father followed her when she left the house and confronted them.

‘He started screaming at me that I was a slag. Graham thought he was just an over protective dad.

‘How could I tell him the truth, that he was jealous of him for being with me?’

Foster dragged his daughter home, where he flew into a rage, smashing plates on his head and shouting: ‘Look how much I love you Emma.’

‘I was just shouting at him that it was wrong and he was my dad, he wasn’t supposed to be doing these things to me,’ Emma says.

In the aftermath of his rage, Frost begged his daughter for forgiveness before pleading with her to have sex with him one more time.

‘I was so revolted that I turned away because I thought I would be sick. He was begging me not to leave.

‘And despite my desperation to escape, I was already thinking I had nowhere to go except the children’s home.’

Emma kept in contact with her boyfriend Graham and a few months later fell pregnant.

As her father had undergone a vasectomy, Emma was certain the baby was not his.

When she broke the news to her father, Emma says he broke down in tears, asking his daughter if she was going to leave him.

But
shockingly, even now the nightmare wasn’t to end. Emma’s boyfriend
Graham, who was still unaware of his girlfriend’s hellish situation,
lived with his mother.

When
Emma gave birth to a baby daughter nine months later, she had no choice
but to return from the hospital to her father’s house with her newborn.

‘I hated him holding her, but I never left them alone for a second,’ she recalls now.

‘Even if I went to the toilet I took her with me.’

Emma has managed to find happiness with partner Graham Brett, with whom she now has two daughters. 'They have shown me what a real family is,' she says

Emma has managed to find happiness with partner Graham Brett, with whom she now has two daughters. ‘They have shown me what a real family is,’ she says

Weeks later Emma was given a council flat that she planned to share with Graham.

Soon afterwards, in October 2009, Emma’s mother made contact. Emma agreed to meet her – and in an emotional confession, she told her mother everything that had happened.

Emma’s appalled mother urged her to call the police. 

‘Mum was devastated, she had no idea but I wanted to be sure the rest of the family believed me too so I tried to record him admitting it on my phone,’ she says.

Next, Emma told Graham. ‘He wanted to go straight round but I didn’t want dad running away before he could be properly punished.’

A police investigation saw Foster arrested. The trial started on 17 October 2011 and Emma, who had since given birth to another daughter, was called to give evidence from behind a screen.

The jury at Ipswich Crown Court found him guilty of four counts of rape, five offences of indecent assault, sexual activity with a child, and causing a child to engage in sexual activity.

Judge Rupert Overbury told him: All these offences were calculated and planned. The effect of your offending is incalculable.’

On 16 December last year Christopher Foster was sentenced to life imprisonment with a minimum term of ten years and ten months. His name was added to the sex offenders register indefinitely.

Emma, who is studying for a degree in
psychology so she can help other victims of abuse, said: ‘ I was relieved but I will have the memories forever. Graham and my daughters have shown me what a real family is. I suffered in silence for too long and I want to help other young women. My psychology degree will help me do that.

As part of her mission to raise awareness and help other victims of abuse, Emma is preparing for a sponsored walk to raise money for the Phoenix Post, a support community campaigning against childhood abuse. She will walk 26 miles on 16 June.

To pledge support via PayPal please visit www.thephoenixpost.com

Here’s what other readers have said. Why not
debate this issue live on our message boards.

The comments below have been moderated in advance.

What a beautiful and strong woman!
I relied heavily on my parents love, support, and advice as a teenager, both her parents weren’t there for her and yet she turned out as strong a she did! Good for you Emma. All the best to you, Graham, and your liittle girls. You deserve happiness.

God bless this young woman and her courage!

Thank you for telling us your name. There is nothing for you to be ashamed of. Victims of rape, we need to learn to stand up and say something. It is the rapists who need to feel the shame, not us.

What a brave and beautiful young woman! She reminds me of Twiggy, in the sixties, though not so thin. I am glad for her, that surviving those horrible experiences has helped her to become even stronger and more brave – willing to sacrifice her anonymity to help others. There is no voice so strong as the voice of experience.

Emma you are a brave young lady , I too suffered sex abuse as a child and those who did this remain unpunished. Its taken along time but I now know that it wasnt my fault and those who were meant to protect me did not . I wish you the best in your studies the more people speak out and hold these abusers accountable for there actions will give people the courage to speak out and seek help and justice and understand it was not their fault

What an amazingly strong and brave woman. I wish you every happiness Emma.

My heart breaks for the loss of this poor woman’s childhood. I hope she can recover from her horrific abuse and that her story will help others in the same situation. What a repulsive man!

@ Nik Newcastle, it was actually her parents who failed her, massively !

So very very sad and brave well done Emma but the sad part is all through life you go on but so wish that you had a Father that you could turn to and that is proud of his little girl and that you can say to your friends this is my Dad not take them home and he does it to them too. It never ever goes away hurts like hell and the flash backs as the worst. At least people are more aware now than they used to be. But the death threats whispered in your ear make you never tell a soul and by the time you are old enough to know its wrong the guilt has set in. I went to the police when I was 30 and by then it was to late I was told, I traced him in the end and faced my Demon he was a sad old man who had nothing and months to live I told him I have always prayed for the day he would die so I can jump up and down on his grave and be free. But still does not make up for me not having a father to be proud off. Be happy Emma and Love to you and your Family.

So sorry to read what you went through, it must have been hell an dominated your whole life. You have been very brave to speak up now it will help other children going through the same to know that it’s OK to speak out and not to out up with it. I hope the rest of your life is happier than the first half. You are a great person and your children are lucky to have you. Your Mother was wicked to not visit you in the children’s home and for not being close enough to you to realise what was going on in the first place. She has a lot to answer for too. My heart aches for you for what you went through. What a wicked father he was to you. You deserve all the happiness for the future, and good luck with your Psychology course and the help you are going to give others. You are a great person to come through it like you have done.

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