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September 16th, 2012 
FAKE NEWS for the Zionist agenda
By
Nina Golgowski
09:00 EST, 15 September 2012
|
08:40 EST, 16 September 2012
While everyone gets in trouble at school at least once, some take it to a whole new level.
This hilarious collection of school detention slips captures the reasons – some absolutely shocking, others just plain mindless – why some thoughtless students were kicked out of class.
Whether a student’s hair resembled ‘a boner’ and consequently provoked teasing, or they were a victim of ‘a paper spear’ and ‘hit in the face,’ the scanned collection offers a slew of reasons teachers couldn’t rush troublemakers out of the classroom fast enough.
But be warned – some of these ridiculous offences provoked several days of punishment, proving silly jokes and teasing can definitely add up.
Unacceptable appearance: A girl claiming to be the reborn Jesus Christ disrupted class prompting her immediate removal by the teacher who will remain anonymous
Inappropriate hair: A student teasing another student about their hair appearing to have ‘a boner’ prompted one student’s detention
Victimized: A high school student who volunteered to be the target of a paper spear ended up victim of detention as well
Bottle plane: A 10th grader was sentenced to detention after allegedly flying his juice bottle around like an airplane
Manners: A teacher who accused a student of flatulence, at the stentorian or outright booming level, received a note home and homework assignment
Shockingly inappropriate: A male student who expressed wanting milk from another girl’s breasts received a notice home and loss of recess
Victory: A student and most likely former Sega Genesis gamer refused to stop yelling a botched victory phrase from the game Zero Wing popular in 2001
Hammer of Justice: An apparent World of Warcraft video game user punched a boy in the mouth after yelling this method of attack
Name calling: While not exactly slander, a teacher disciplined a student for calling them a ‘muggle,’ a term from the Harry Potter series that describes someone not able to perform magic
Role playing: A student pretending to be superman before his class earned him not only a detention but a shocking reduction in ‘character points’
Too expressive: A student who stood up in guitar class was punished for asking the others to show him their ‘booty hole’
Crude sketch: Penis drawings don’t belong on the whiteboard, according to one teacher
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The “stentorian flatulence” reminded me of an incident back when I was in school. One kid, who looked like she was in some kind of gastrointestinal distress during the class, issued some “stentorian flatulence” (to put it mildly) right when the teacher was done speaking at great length about the first amendment to the U.S. Constitution in the Bill of Rights. To which the teacher commented, “And your commentary on the Bill of Rights is duly noted, miss!”. The whole class erupted in laughter. No detention, however for the young lady, as I suspected based on the redness of her face, she probably wished she could disappear from the face of the Earth at that moment.
American Expat
,
Ostrava,
16/9/2012 20:14
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there is one thing ive noticed about all the detention slips is the writing
these kids are all in school and use some teachers as role models ,the state of the writing of some of the teachers is very bad
heavy1966
,
london, United Kingdom,
16/9/2012 19:52
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Another HILARIOUS article *yawns*
Stephanie
,
London,
16/9/2012 19:43
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My 6 yr old son’s most recent note was that he “ate his classmates art projects” Now how do you NOT laugh at that? My son loves marshmallows…. I kept it together I even managed to punish him, but boy it was hard 🙂
Sarah the nurse
,
Iowa USA,
16/9/2012 18:34
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The pupil that called a teacher a Muggle should have been given a high five!
Emma
,
Lincoln, United Kingdom,
16/9/2012 18:28
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This was all on Graham Norton ages ago! Old news!
Smile
,
Mars,
16/9/2012 18:21
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What a boring article.
Alan
,
Wales,
16/9/2012 17:59
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How come Christians are not slaughtering the entire universe because a child claims to be Jesus?
Maturity, humour, sensibility, humility is what it is.
Funnymoni
,
LOS,
16/9/2012 17:56
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ahhh school days, havent we all gotten into trouble over something funny before?
Harrison
,
Southampton,
16/9/2012 17:04
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Big joke reading these “incidents” made me laugh. We got the cane,strap and worst of all was the infamous gym rope……or so painful.Don’t do anything wrong, like climbing the wall bars with no teacher present……U.Oh..Charlie Babage…U.Oh…bend over and get a slap across your backside..U..Oh..Charlie Babage,…. as your Adams Apple blocks your throat…good old days ? No,rather laugh at aforementioned.
lionheart bluenose
,
bradford, United Kingdom,
16/9/2012 16:51
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