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November 27th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
U.S.—Amid the current inflation crisis, Dollar Tree quietly renamed itself to “Hundred Dollar Tree”, quickly adding the word “Hundred” in front of its name on store signs all across the country.
Workers were seen installing the new signs just in time for Christmas sales this year.
“We’re proud to bring you the new, improved, rebranded Hundred Dollar Tree!” announced Dollar Tree CEO Bob Tree. “All the stuff you know and love from Dollar Tree, but now you get to feel more like a rich guy, as you’ll be throwing hundred-dollar bills around like paper.”
Tree has assured customers that the stores will still have the same random knickknacks and other assorted low-end goods, but now at 100 times the price. Also, there will be a lot fewer items on the shelves thanks to Biden’s supply crisis, but journalists were quick to point out that people should just “lower their expectations” for how many goods they would encounter at the stores.
UPDATE: At publishing time, the newly relaunched Hundred Dollar Tree was forced to rename itself to Thousand Dollar Tree.
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