Sasha Laxton: You’ve got to be a few sequins short of a tutu to raise your son as ‘gender neutral’

By
Melanie Phillips

Last updated at 11:08 PM on 22nd January 2012

When Sasha Laxton was born five years ago, his parents decided they wanted to avoid classifying him as either a boy or a girl.

They felt that to do so  was a kind of ‘sexual stereo-typing’ which had to be avoided at all costs.

So instead of referring to their son as a boy, they talked about him as the ‘infant’, and kept his gender secret from all but a few close friends and family until he started school.

Big questions: Sasha Laxton has been brought as 'gender neutral' by his parents, who for a long time kept his sex a closely-guarded secret

Big questions: Sasha Laxton has been brought as ‘gender neutral’ by his parents, who for a long time kept his sex a closely-guarded secret

So proud were they of what they were doing that they even posted on YouTube a video of Sasha saying it was ‘silly’ to talk of differences between boys and girls, and sent friends pictures of him dressed as a pink and glittery fairy.

To which most people will probably be shaking their heads in disbelief and thinking: ‘That poor child.’

Doubtless, Sasha’s parents love their son and want to do only the best for him. But really, it is hard to believe that people can be quite so desperately misguided, not to say completely out to lunch.

It’s one thing for parents to encourage their sons to be a bit more gentle and caring, and their daughters to be a bit more adventurous and mechanically minded.

Damaging

But to believe that the innate difference between a boy and a girl is something  that is ‘shaped’ by other people and  slots a child ‘into a damaging box’ labelled gender is, frankly, to appear a few sequins short of a tutu.

For Sasha is a boy, and there are differences between boys and girls, males and females.

Would these parents similarly feel that they are being slotted into a damaging box if they are referred to as Sasha’s father and mother? Perhaps they would reject as ‘sexual stereotyping’ any suggestion that they are themselves a man and a woman?

Gender neutral: Sasha dressed as a fairy on the picture that was used on the family Christmas card in 2010

Gender neutral: Sasha dressed as a fairy on the picture that was used on the family Christmas card in 2010

They seem to be motivated by the aim — perfectly laudable in itself — that their son should be free to reach his full potential.

But Sasha’s full potential lies in what he will achieve as a boy, not in turning into a girl. And the stark truth is that by telling him that the latter is an option, his parents are putting him at a terrible disadvantage.

Not only are they likely to make him the butt of ridicule, but far more seriously they risk plunging him into damaging and  long-lasting psychological confusion about what he actually is.

For someone’s gender — along with their sexuality — is a key element of that individual’s identity. If they are confused about their gender, they are likely to grow up confused about their identity.

Indeed, it is hard to think of a more fundamental way of mucking up a child and imperilling his healthy development.

People suffering from innate gender confusion, when they feel they are trapped in the body of the opposite gender to the one to which they belong, are tragic cases. Deliberately to try to bring about such confusion in a child’s mind by using him as a kind of guinea-pig in a social experiment is really quite shocking.

Danger: At best, Sasha's parents risk making him the butt of ridicule. At worst his upbringing may have dangerous psychological effects

Danger: At best, Sasha’s parents risk making him the butt of ridicule. At worst his upbringing may have dangerous psychological effects

Nevertheless, Sasha’s parents are by no means a one-off aberration in pursuing this aim. Last year, a Canadian couple insisted they would also raise their baby, Storm, as a gender-neutral child. In certain circles, this is becoming a fashion.

The fact is that for more than three decades, Left-wing ideologues have been determinedly unravelling sexual and gender differences — on the grounds that the very idea that people are different amounts to a kind of prejudice.

Bizarre as it may seem, what started as a campaign for equal rights progressed into a movement to abolish altogether the differences between men and women.

This movement consisted of an alliance between, on the one hand, radical feminists who were consumed by hatred of men and, on the other, gay activists intent upon blurring the distinction between hetero-sexual and same-sex unions.

What arose from both was a push towards androgyny, based on the false belief that biology had little to do with gender differences — which were instead said to be artificially constructed by society.

Lunacy

Denying the biological facts of life in  this way might be considered a form of lunacy. Indeed, scientists have shown there are many differences between male  and female brains. And in general, men  and women clearly have different approaches to their environment, relationships, children and so on.

Nevertheless, promotion of androgyny has become a kind of default position among progressive thinkers, writers and politicians.

It all started with the idea that men and women should have interchangeable roles both at home and in the work-place, and that fathers were no longer essential to the family unit at all.

Lunacy: There seems no sense in denying the biological fact that Sasha is a boy

Lunacy: There seems no sense in denying the biological fact that Sasha is a boy

Right from the beginning, however, there was a deeper agenda to redefine relations between men and women by nothing less than redefining men and women themselves.

Accordingly, radical feminists such as academics Judith Lorber and Susan Farrell wrote with a straight face that ‘being a woman and being a man change from one generation to the next’.

And the immensely influential psychologist Sandra Bem wrote that to free people from ‘culturally imposed’ definitions of masculinity and femininity people should become androgynous, adapting male or female behaviour according to their situation.

This would mean, she gleefully predicted, that distinctions between male and female would ‘blur into invisibility’.

Goodbye testosterone!

Astonishing as this may seem, this madness has now become mainstream. For example, the Council of Europe, no less, has drafted a definition of gender as an artificial social construct which has little to dowith biology.

In the U.S., some therapists have demanded ‘genderless models of marriage and parenting’.

Recently, the California Teachers’ Association held a conference advocating ‘gender liberation’. It issued instructions on ‘gender etiquette’, which said it was polite to ask people with which sex they identified — and, accordingly, by which pronouns they preferred to be described. The instructions added helpfully: ‘Each of us can decide for ourselves in which bathroom we belong.’

And a few months ago on U.S. TV, a ‘gender coach’ was filmed indoctrinating children that they could choose whether to be a boy or a girl.

Sinister

It all sounds too ludicrous to be true. In fact, it is deeply sinister. Our society is being brainwashed into pretending that the differences between male and female don’t exist — in order to reconstruct society into some unattainable utopia of sexual and gender identicality.

The dual goal is to marginalise men and to upend society’s fundamental moral codes. Having first been told they can behave sexually in whatever way they want, people are now being told they can be sexually whatever they want. And anyone who objects to this will be told they are a bigot.

The result will be an increasing tide of misery. Human identity is formed by the union of male and female. Sexual and gender differences lie at the very heart of what it is to be a human being.

Denying those differences to a child not only threatens that child’s own sense of identity and well-being, but also starts to unravel what it is to be a person.

Dressing a boy as a girl and pretending he can choose his gender is not merely bizarre and cruel. It is part of a wider agenda to  re-order our society.

Far from ushering in a better world, this threatens to stamp out the individual right to know what we are, and to rob us of humanity itself.

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Barmy, trendy, leftie, nambie-pamby, hug a tree, vegan, arch feminst, swivel eyed, window licking mentalists. My deepest sympathy to the poor child. Zaffon, Wales.
—————————————————————————————————————-I couldn’t have said it better myself! Brilliant!

This started with teachers being brainwashed at university into believing that, to be gay is no different to being hetrosexual so children are growing up to believe it is ok to be gay even though they may not be.
– William, London, (null)
I find this comment quite abhorrent. Being gay is the way a person IS not the way their parents MADE them. There’s nothing wrong in teaching children that’s it’s fine to be who they ARE.

Dear o’ dear, you might be forgiven for thinking that a degree of common-sense
would at some point prevail. Apparently not..! What on earth do these parents imagine this child is: some experimental peculiarity of ”political-fashion” that may be braided to accommodate their sense of nonsense. Yet, such is the nature of things all things are capable of latent consequences: be they 10 or 20 years hence. And the consequences of playing with the sexual identity of a child can have the most devastating effects, to, not only the child, but to those who may form relationships with him, and on the understanding, that they are dealing with a normal and well-balanced individual. If the parents wish to play experiment with Nature: then let them experiment on ”themselves”, leave the child out of it..!

Wow, Melanie, I think you’ve written on a subject that we might, with a lot of hard work, be able to agree on. Not sure about how this new social fringe phenomenon is going to reshape society or the world at large (i’ll leave the insanity and scaremongering down to you), but there is no question that one’s gender is down to what’s between their legs, not what side their buttons do up on. I also think you’ve conflated ones sexual orientation with their gender in a way that goes totally against common sense. Some men want to be women, some women want to be men. The only thing these groups of people have in common is that they are bloody well aware of what the genders are. They don’t want to see the distinction blurred, they just want to right to choose which side they fall on (which as I am sure you’ll agree is fine regarding their sexuallity, but barking mad in terms of it actually changing gender).

Having read about the deep anguish that transexuals go through when they are gender confused, I cannot understand how a loving parent could actively risk their child’s mental health this way. Surely it would be far healthier to teach him to simply accept himself as he is rather than denying who he is.

Sasha´s mother was talking on Radio 2 at lunchtime and insisted that she did not dress Sasha in the fairy costume but that he did it himself. After looking at this photo again I very much doubt if a 3 (or was he 4) year old could put the costume on as neatly as it appears. The wings for a start would be a bit tricky as would the decoration around the wrists. Very strange parents in my opinion.

That poor kid is going to be eaten alive in the playground! Kids are cruel and tease the hell out of anyone different. The parents should be charged with abuse.
– Old Git, The Bunker, 23/1/2012 1:07
Yeah, the kid should step back into line and let bullies control his behaviour. Remember son: never dare to think you can do anything that the lowest common denominator dont approve of, they will tear you down, so dont even bother to try. Great parenting tips from the aplty named old git

So melanie, what is the biological explanation behind certain clothing styles and colours being gender specific? A quick look through history will show how much and how often clothing norms have fluctuated wildly over time, pink was once considered a masculine colour etc because it was the colour of flesh and represented combat and the hunt. For most of human history men wore loose fitting dress like garments, as they still do in many parts of the world. Biology or culture?

How come a child who is considered overweight can be removed from their parents so as to help them health wise, yet this poor child who is being damaged psychologically for life like this, is left in charge of these people who are brainwashing him to not even consider himself to be male which is basic to who he is. What are the social services playing at here by not intervening?

What a pair of numpties! No wonder our society is the way it is with parents like these.

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