Sealed with a fish, Larkin’s royal insult

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Sealed with a fish, Larkin’s royal insult

May 22nd, 2012

FAKE NEWS for the Zionist agenda

By
Craig Brown

PUBLISHED:

14:23 EST, 21 May 2012

|

UPDATED:

14:23 EST, 21 May 2012

Tomorrow evening, the Queen will attend a party for 700 people involved in the arts. But over the years, not all artists have been equally dutiful in celebrating their meetings with the Queen.

Least attractive metaphor for Her Majesty employed by a 20th‑century poet:

‘The Queen and Duke came here not long ago, which threw everything into confusion, but no mishaps occurred. I could have got myself presented if my elbows had been sharp enough … they were throwing people at her like fish to a seal.’

Philip Larkin on the Queen’s visit to Hull University, May 28, 1957

Least Attractive Metaphor For Her Majesty Employed By A 20th‑century Playwright:

‘Royalty … is the gold filling in a mouthful of decay.’

John Osborne, essay, They Call It Cricket, 1957

Let's hope they are kind in their reporting of the meeting: Her Majesty, here talking to some of her subjects, has not always had the most flattering reports from those in the arts

Let’s hope they are kind in their reporting of the meeting: Her Majesty, here talking to some of her subjects, has not always had the most flattering reports from those in the arts

Least Forthcoming Royal Encounter with a Theatre Director:

‘As we were presented, the Queen asked me when the National Theatre would open. I said I didn’t know. The Duke asked me when the National Theatre would open. I said I didn’t know. The Queen Mother asked me when the National Theatre would open. I said I didn’t know. The Prince of Wales asked me when the National Theatre would open. I said I didn’t know.’

Peter Hall at a Buckingham Palace reception for the media, diary entry, February 11, 1975

Most Sycophantic Tribute to the Queen from an Arty Courtier with a Moustache:

‘To me, the Queen is the country’s greatest unsung asset, a towering monument to unstinting duty and discipline. We take her for granted and ought not to, for she will go down as one of the most remarkable women in the history of the island.’

Sir Roy Strong, from Homage to the Queen, 2005

Most Sycophantic Tribute to the Queen from an Arty Courtier without a Moustache:

‘She was positively dazzling, the light so soft gave her an incandescent look. Her eyes flashed like crystal, her teeth dazzling, her smile radiant. Something has happened to her that has made her a great star.

‘She was at the peak of her looks, and they are looks that work. One would not wish to change any detail, the neck straight and long, the poise, the healthiness, the sharpness so something [sic] that has become a work of art. It was good to be thrown into such a good mood by the encounter with perfection.’

Sir Cecil Beaton, diary entry after a soiree at Windsor Castle, April 11, 1972

Most Peculiar Dream about the Queen Experienced by a Major British Novelist:

‘Quite by chance, I found myself sitting beside the Queen during a service in Windsor Chapel. The officiating clergyman preached an absurd sermon and I found myself in danger of laughing. So, I could see, was the Queen, and she held the order of service in front of my mouth to hide my smile.

‘Then Prince Philip entered. I was not surprised at all that he was wearing a scoutmaster’s uniform, but I resented having to surrender my chair to him. As I moved away the Queen confided to me: “I can’t bear the way he smiles.” ’

Graham Greene, A World Of My Own: A Dream Diary, 1992

Most Grudging Recollection of Lunch at Buckingham Palace by a British Film Director:

‘It really was an extraordinary experience — extraordinary in its absolute ordinariness. All the falsely unassuming charm of the English Establishment, masking an arrogance just as stiff as the most extravagant European aristocratic hauteur.

‘The Queen’s modest, smiling welcome making not the slightest effort to conceal the fact that she hadn’t the slightest idea who one was — and didn’t care.’

Lindsay Anderson in a letter to Gavin Lambert, following lunch with The Queen at Buckingham Palace, January 3, 1982

Writer Graham Greene dreams of the Queen: As I moved away the Queen confided to me: 'I can't bear the way he smiles'

Writer Graham Greene dreams of the Queen: As I moved away the Queen confided to me: ‘I can’t bear the way he smiles’

Most Awkward Proposal put to The Queen by a Poet While Receiving an Award:

‘I don’t know if you realise, ma’am, but you and I are descended from the Prophet Mohammed.’

‘Oh, really.’

‘Yes.’

‘How interesting.’

‘You should mention it in your Christmas message, because a lot of your subjects are Mohammedans.’

Robert Graves, receiving The Queen’s Gold Medal For Poetry at Buckingham Palace in 1968 (‘He must have had some sort of adrenalin buzz,’ posited his fellow poet Hugo Williams in 2004)

Most Humdrum Portrait of the Queen by a Major British Pop Group:

‘Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl but she doesn’t have a lot to say.’

The Beatles, Abbey Road, 1969

Most Embarrassing Case of Mistaken Identity at a Royal Reception for the Arts:

‘Isn’t this a boring party?’

Novelist Beryl Bainbridge to the Queen at the Royal Academy ten years ago (Bainbridge later explained that the Queen and Vera Lynn were both wearing blue, which made it tricky to tell them apart)

To be continued . . .