Jew World Order

What, you thought Jesus-lovers owned the advent calendar game? Bible verse cardboard advent calendars are so yesterday, sweet friend. If you’re shopping for the best advent calendars this year, please know that you don’t need to resign yourself to the waxy drugstore chocolates you ate with your first gay crush at that youth group—although, WHAT A TIME—not that you can ever rationalize settling for that TJ’s advent calendar in the check-out line. (She’s already seen it, bro.) No, we can do better. The winter days may be shorter, but they’re hornier with a couples’ sex toy advent calendar, or one filled with bon bons from France; the nights may be colder, but there is a Caspian Sea’s worth of tea and coffee advent calendars for you to cop for your beloved this holiday season. 

The key to finding the best 2022 advent calendar is to find a selection of something your giftee won’t just want, but will want by the dozen. Meaning, they probably don’t need 12 more pairs of socks (maybe they do??). But you know what they will appreciate? A fleet of nail polish colors to mix and match, or a skincare calendar to keep those hands soft and coddled all through the dry winter months. Whether you’re shopping for you, your situationship, or that one Uncomfortable Uncle, here are the best advent calendars to cop this year… 

The best coffee advent calendar

Is your giftee an arabica-addicted Beanie Baby who can’t rise and grind without the help of some conical burs? Maybe give them some horse tranquilizers and a deep tissue massage, and then gift them the 12 Mornings of Coffee advent calendar from coffee subscription service Bean Box. In addition to 12 expertly-curated holiday coffees from some of the best specialty roasters in the US and a treasure trunk gift box, it includes a chance to win a full one-year coffee subscription. “Lucky winners will discover a golden bag on their 12th, and final, morning,” Bean Box writes—very Wonka-esque.

The best Japanese snack advent calendar

This one’s perfect for anyone who’s been saving up to take a trip to Tokyo during cherry blossom season. Japanese snack subscription box Bokksu has jumped in the advent calendar ring this year, offering a cool Japanese snack or candy for 24 blissful days. In total, you’ll enjoy 41 snack items (including 20 unique snacks) and four holiday collectibles. 

The ultimate tea advent calendar

More of a tea type? Palais Des Thés’ advent calendar is popular year after year, thanks to its affordable price and thoughtful selection of 24 different single estate teas, flavored tea blends, and herbal infusions, each individually packaged in muslin tea bags. Popular offerings that you’ll likely spot in the calendar include Lovers Tea, Blue of London, Sencha Ariake, French Garden, and Darjeeling Margaret's Hope.

Celebrate with Hello Kitty or Harry Potter

Bummed you missed last year’s Dolly Parton advent calendar from Williams Sonoma? Yes, it was rad—but fear not, good ol’ WS has a bunch of just-as-cool new advent calendars this year, including these themed calendars for fans of Hello Kitty and Harry Potter, each packed with a variety of tasty gourmet candies (there’s also a particularly cute one that’s all about Elf).

A classic advent calendar, elevated by Compartés

If you’re not familiar with Los Angeles-based chocolatier Compartés, all you need to know that every single one of its confections is as inventive as it is delicious. Already great with gift boxes—the brand’s zodiac-themed chocolate collection is a VICE staff favorite—Compartés has made an extra-gorgeous chocolate advent calendar this year, garden-themed and packed with flavors like Honey Lavender, Caramel Apple, Peanut Butter Banana, Lemon Poppyseed, and Strawberry Cheesecake.

The best luxury food advent calendar for the true gourmands

So, what’s the perfect advent calendar for a true food freak? Williams Sonoma’s signature “Chuck’s Luxury” cal, which packs every day up to Christmas with a fancy food treat, from a tin of Jacobsen’s flaky sea salt to a miniature bottle of Olio Santo olive oil. You or your lucky recipient will also reveal three Mauviel ornaments, a Fleur de Sel votive candle, and way more.

The best wine advent calendar

A glass of vino a day? Don’t mind if we do. This advent calendar will turn your kitchen/bedroom/sudsy bathtub into a veritable hot air balloon wine tasting trip around the world with bottles from Italy, California, France, and beyond. 

The best whisky advent calendar

… Because you can say, “I love you,” or you can actually mean it by gifting someone 25 drams of premium whisky in little glass bottles. This year’s calendar is extra fancy and is focused specifically on single malt Scotch, including Speyburn's 18-year-old malt, Aberfeldy's 16-year-old, and Craigellachie's 13-year-old. We might get an extra to survive the month of February, TBH.

Semi-sweet toothed? Try a caramel calendar

A well-salted, small-batch caramel is kind of the perfect dessert for sweet and savory peeps alike. This almost upsettingly cute, hand-crafted calendar is filled with a selection of caramel flavors that include coffee bean, clove, Hawaiian sea salt, and more.

Some like it hot

We all know them: crazy hot sauce people. Some might say it takes one to know one, and with that, we reveal that we have several such people on staff. As a result, we’re very excited about this 12 Days of Hot Sauce advent calendar, which includes spicy surprises like Zombie Apocalypse, Psycho Curry, and Reaper Evil. Don’t say we didn’t warn you, and enjoy your own personal episode of Hot Ones.

The best advent calendar for beer lovers

Give Them Beer makes it simple when copping a gift for dad, your home-brewing friend, or any other beer enthusiast who deserves a little treat: a 12-day craft beer advent calendar with a different highly rated, fan-fave brew each day, including stouts, ales, and IPAs.

The most elaborate chocolate advent calendar

When it comes to its advent calendars, legendary chocolatier Vosges’ motto seems to be “go big or go home.” And this year, in celebration of its 25th anniversary, the advent calendar is crazier than ever. This time, for a cool $300, you’ll receive a full light-up, music-playing miniature storefront, which contains 25 chambers with elaborate confections like red Hawaiian sea salt and dragon fruit caramels, Pretzel Marshmallow Mendiants, and Strawberry Magical Mushrooms.

Liberty’s decked-out beauty calendar

Established by a swanky British dude named Arthur Lasenby Liberty in 1875, Liberty is one classy-ass brand; think, heritage paisley prints in luxurious fabrics, antique-inspired home goods, and a beauty and skincare advent calendar worthy of a London dandy. This year’s loot includes 29 products, from serums and hand creams to perfumes and eye creams, and includes top-tier brands like Augustinus Bader, Byredo, Paula’s Choice, and many more.

The best beauty advent calendar by value

So yes, Liberty’s advent calendar is impressive—but this year, LookFantastic takes the cake for the best bang for your buck. With an estimated value of over $700 and a price of just $165, this cal is packed with beauty products from Nars, Sol de Janiero, MAC, Ciaté, and way more, in every category ou can imagine—lipstick, blush, skincare, hair masks, and beyond.

The one with a bunch of cool gemstones

Sure, this NatGeo gemstone advent calendar was probably designed with kids in mind, but who’s to say it can’t be enjoyed by our friends who love crystals, nature, and shiny things?

The one for people who stay in expensive hotels

That’s right—the highly covetable, very expensive Diptyque advent calendar is back for 2023, with 25 beautiful scented gifts inside, including perfume, candles, lotion, and more in the notoriously luxe fragrance brand’s beautiful packaging.

For the friend who’s learning to code

The British brand Eight Innovation specializes in electronic model building kits, and its advent calendar lets your recipient code retro mini games; assemble Whack-A-Mole, Ping Pong, Code Breaker, and 21 more games to get the gears spinning.

The best sex toy advent calendar

Listen to the horniest part of your heart this holiday season and you may just find that it’s guiding you towards this curated selection of mini vibrators, strokers, restraints, and more via the Lovehoney x Womanizer 2023 sex toy advent calendar with 24 seggsy goods. “I bought this for myself and my partner, [and] we were far too impatient and opened everything in one night” one reviewer writes, “A brilliant deal and [we] have been able to try toys we might not have considered to buy separately.”

Happy holidays, and remember: When god closes a door, she opens another one on an advent calendar. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.

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