Jew World Order

Ah, hello, everyone, and welcome back to your liveblog of the errant tippy-tap-tap sounds you hear emanating from Washington, DC, broadcast on the teevee, like a nut trapped inside a tin can, endlessly bouncing against the metal walls, not making any sense, forever. My name is Jason. And the last time we spoke, I was about to go on vacation to Boston, Massachusetts — the Cradle of Modern America and the place where all those Ben Affleck movies are set.

And what a nice time! So much American history has not yet been turned into a Chipotle, yet. I had no idea! And Bostonians are actually very nice. Once they are out of their cars, I mean. Up until then, it is literally kill or be killed. And look! I managed to secure a photograph of the biggest cliche in Boston.

And New England, what’s up? Apparently you all have been holding out on me as far as this “coffee milk” things goes. I had no idea about this. It is like stuff you add to milk, and when you add it, the milk tastes vaguely like coffee. It is my new favorite thing! And one of the brands of coffee milk syrup is called “Autocrat.” It’s like they don’t know, or don’t care what the word “autocrat” even means! As it says on the bottle: “Autocrat coffee milk: enjoying it is mandatory!”

Alas, time off must come to an end and so we are gathered here today to watch the vapid Sunday offerings, together once more. (Plus the Capitals are playing the Bruins in the NHL playoffs, so if you Bostonians wouldn’t mind not accepting those compliments until one team or the other is eliminated, and intead accept — DAGGERS! POISON! BLEAH! — that would be swell.

Okay. Y’all know the deal! Please enjoy each other’s company in the comments. You can fell free to send your thoughts/comments in my direction. And after we’re done here, please feel free follow me on Twitter, if you can even bear it.

And without further ago, I guess we’re back.

FOX NEWS SUNDAY

Welcoming us all back today are Ed Gillespie and David Axelrod, who will be doing the Morning of the Shouty presidential campaign surrogates. Axelrod begins this round of “welcome to the general election, no matter what Newt Gingrich is saying at the moment.”

Wallace begins by showing Axelrod a clip of Obama decrying the “stale tactics” of past campaigns, and juxtaposing it against — ooh! Ooh! Can I guess? I’ll take “Stale Political Tactics,” please? Yes, we see the “thinly veiled Social Darwinism” like about the Ryan budget. Wallace asks, “This from the candidate of hope and change?” Ha, well, sure, but I don’t think Obama was “hoping” to pass a Paul Ryan Hunger Games budget that would “change” everything like that.

Axelrod says that there’s a difference between engaging in “empty scare tactics” and critiquing policy, and I’ll allow he has a point, because it’s different to say “thinly veiled Social Darwinism” and what I just did: “BOOGA WE ARE ALL GOING TO END UP LIKE PANEM IF WE PASS THIS BUDGET.” That’s probably not true. We would still have one or two different things we’d need to do to ensure we’d end up like Panem, and I’m pretty sure that we’d still end up like Mike Judge’s IDIOCRACY first.

Wallace points out that it’s a fair criticism to say that the Ryan budget hasn’t explained how it’s going to generate revenue or what loopholes it’s going to close, but at the same time it doesn’t have any specific cuts delineated either. Axelrod points out that an extrapolation is all that’s necessary to surmise that tons of services, especially for the elderly, are cut significantly. (Meanwhile, the President has offered specific things.)

Moving to the Buffett Rule. Wallace reminds that Obama promised this rule would “stabilize the budget for the next decade.” But would it cover that much? Axelrod says that first, Wallace isn’t crediting the Obama administration for all of what they’re cutting from the budget. But, Axelrod says that the Buffett Rule is, in fact, just a “piece of the puzzle.” And then he’s on to complaining about Romney proposing to gut Planned Parenthood and foreign aid.

They argue this point further, with Wallace saying that Obama made it sound like the done deal cure-all, and Axelrod arguing that it’s just a piece. Axelrod, of course, is happy to argue the fairness aspect of this “Buffett Rule,” because it a) polls very well and b) has nothing to do with Jimmy Buffett and/or “Parrotheads” and/or “Cheeseburgers in Paradise.”

And now they are going to fight over whether Obama will contribute money to the national debt, and this is one of those “why don’t you lead by example” questions, and they sound pretty when you’re asking them but the point is that you don’t run a country on donations, you run it with policies, and it would be irresponsible to just write a check marked “PAY TO THE ORDER OF THE DEFICIT” and then wash your hands of the problem. Alexrod actually responds well to this, “We don’t run bake sales.”

“The fact that Mitt Romney pays 14% on $20 million of income is not the issue,” says Axelrod, who’s happy to MENTION THIS while insisting “it’s not an issue.”

Wallace points out that right now, Obama is staring down high unemployment numbers and low GDP — the worst of any incumbent President. (We don’t often hear about GDP, when we talk about the phenomenon of Presidents struggling to get re-elected against poor economic indicators, but it is at least as important as unemployment, and the current state of growth is anemic.) Does Obama deserve to get re-elected?

Axelrod says that seven or eight months ago, those numbers were worse, and if you recall, the economy was giving the American people the flaming ramrod act from six months before the Obama administration take over. And then Axelrod goes off onto some talking points about spending priorities and Wallace tried to reign him back in.

[More liveblog will be coming shortly.]

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