’60 Minutes’ Editor Exhausted After Pulling All-Nighter Removing Racial Slurs From Biden’s Interview

U.S. — President Joe Biden sat down for an interview last week with Scott Pelley of 60 Minutes, prompting an all-nighter by the show’s editor who was forced to sift through hours of the president’s racial epithets to produce a 25-minute segment for the long-running CBS show.

“Look, Jack, if you feel me,” said Biden in one cut clip. “If you ever need to jive you come front me. Okay, honkey?”

Senior Editor Randy Mooney admitted that he had to run a transcript of the interview through Urban Dictionary because he wasn’t familiar with some of the more obscure racial slurs.

“He kept referring to people by different colors, which was an easy catch, but then he also talked about how he thought it was weird that African Americans were taller than average but still 3/5 of a person,” said Mooney. “Honestly, if I wasn’t sure what his point was I just cut it because it was probably racist.”

The segment’s interviewer was shocked when he saw a rough cut of the interview. “Wow!” said Scott Pelley. “He only seems half as racist in person. Weird!”

According to sources, Biden’s handlers had agreed to the interview so he could read prepared talking points on topics such as inflation, the coronavirus pandemic, and foreign policy. However, CBS’ Scott Pelley reportedly asked unplanned questions like “How are you doing?” which prompted racial responses.

At publishing time, senior Editor Randy Mooney was promoted to executive producer for his excellent work on the broadcast.

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