Jew World Order

OK, so real talk. If your budget for gift-giving is $100 for a special someone, they’re probably not the inflatable arms guy from the corner car dealership. Whether a family member, ride-or-die friend, or serious boo, they’ve probably been in your life for a minute, which is 10 years in Dog Math, as we all know, which means they deserve a holiday gift that will sweep them off their tuchus. 

We found the best gifts for under $50, took an eggnog break, and found the best gifts under $20. Now, in lieu of suggesting gifts that will cost you a ball of twine and your soul [Cursed Crab Chair has entered the chat] we realized that there are select few friends, family members, and lovers who we’d like to give something really nice. Something from our favorite cookware brands, top-rated air purifier companies (hey, every friend group has one), and CBD wellness sites, you know? We’re perusing our favorite Black-owned businesses, scanning all our socials, and throwing down coins for gifts that keep them on their toes; the kinds of gifts that say, “Do I love you? Maybe. Do I know you? Better than yourself.” 

Open up that carpet bag, because here are the best holiday gifts for everyone, all for under $100.

A head bangin’ menorah

Dude, why not make those eight crazy nights even more hardcore, with a punk-rock menorah that will have all your friends moshing to “dreidel, dreidel”.

Say it with (Lego) flowers

Sure, a box of Venus et Fleur roses last around a year, which is waaaaay longer than any bodega flowers, but they’ll cost you a small fortune (a small box starts at $300), and eventually they’ll shrivel and turn brown. But not Lego. A gorgeous Lego bouquet is not only fun to put together, but it will last a lifetime, just like your eternal love.

An elevated stash bag

We’re adults, which means we can't just roll up to the function reeking of weed, with a loose joint just bouncing around in our pocket. It’s about damn time to up your carry-game, with a sleek and super-secure weekend stash kit from Tulip. It includes an odor-blocking jar, a doobie-tube, and a very discreet carrying pouch so you can take your ganja wherever you go.

The Always Pan just dropped under $100

That’s right—the cult-fave cookware from Our Place is on super-sale right now and is currently over 30% off until December 16 for its end of the year extravaganza. If you’ve been holding out on snagging this non-stick wonder, now’s the time; it heavily upgraded our sunny-side-up-egg game and makes the perfect present for everyone from novice cooks to pro pancake-flippers to interior design nerds.

They’re the salt to your pepper

These salt and pepper shakers are by Le Creuset, which is like the Hermès of cast iron cookware, and they look as if they’ve been dipped in a sunset and polished to a fine sheen by the breath of Julia Child herself. They’ll be the perfect pop of color, floating around the kitchen table.

So they know they’re family

They might have many, many plants—but they don’t have this one. Can you imagine the daily joy of watering your own personal olive tree? Your giftee will feel transported to an island in Greece, or a villa in Northern Italy; they’ll feel like a rich Malibu mom, or anyone who uses the word “summer” as a verb. 

Let’s hit the steakhouse, baby

For a subtle (as subtle as a blinged-out earring can be) nod to their favorite cocktail, these little martini huggies with a sparkly olive garnish say, “I like my drink cold and my steak medium-rare.” Perfect for the person who knows exactly what they like, and can’t wait to order extra olives.

Jackie O’s favorite dishes

We could write a whole thesis about the cultural staying power of majolica Lettuceware, which was popularized in the 1950s in America by designers like Dodie Thayer and coveted by the likes of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. It’s very classy, a little weird, and will impress any rich Connecticut aunt who visits your abode.

A puffer, but make it a headscarf

Make your babcia proud. This is the headscarf to rule all headscarves. Why? It’s literally made out of puffer material that will make your sweet cheeks and ears feel like they’re getting swaddled everywhere you go, regardless of the temps. 

A mellow CBD tincture that tastes like butter

One of our editors tested this Standard Dose CBD tincture for you, and crowned it “the workable tincture” for its gentle and calming (but not too calming) effects. CBD consumption by way of dropper is not only—in their opinion—one of the easiest and most effective ways of ingesting CBD, but it will also make you feel like a mamma bird feeding yourself a worm. The bottle is also really beautiful, and the MCT oil in the mixture matures its color into a beautiful shade of light pink over time.

Can you stand it?

Yes, you can. This Japanese tempura shrimp phone stand looks good enough to eat, and satisfies our craving for more interesting, aesthetic tech accessories. It’s 2022, for crab cake’s sake! We can do better than making everything rose gold. 

This top-rated air purifier

Because everyone knows someone who has the perfect go bag prepped, and a short list of the best air purifiers for fire season. The Levoit has a 4.8-star average rating on Amazon from over 45,000 reviews, praising the fact that it never quits, is hella quiet, and has thoughtful additions like a nylon mesh pre-filter that “does a fantastic job catching larger particles,” according to one customer.  

The host with the most

Picture it: You lock eyes with a sweetie across the room at the holiday party. No words are necessary as you slither on over, bearing a single cornichon skewered with a gemstone as an offering of your affection. Of course you fall in love.

For the mushroom head

Goblincore, but make it fashion. Mushrooms are having a major cultural moment right now, whether they’re in the kitchen, guiding spiritual/wellness endeavours, or popping up in designer collections, because they’re the SAUCE, dude. We want them hanging on our favorite psilocybin-lover’s neck, hanging on their wall in the form of a beautiful print, or sitting jauntily upon a shelf as an objet d’art. 

They always pick the restaurant

Looking for the best gifts for people who love food for under $100? Gift them a veritable smorgasbord of tasty treats with a smashingly good gift box from Mouth. You can tailor your gift depending on their sophisticated tastes, with options ranging from the Offbeat Pickle Box, to Chew York City, featuring gourmet favorites for your favorite NYC ex-pat, like chili crisp from Mr. Bing and raspberry cave cookies from Unna Bakery. Definitely getting one of the pickle boxes for ourselves, to create the ultimate Bloody Mary bar.

A Stanley Kubrick-worthy clock 

In other post-post-post-modern news, we’re declaring that clocks are back. Not just wall clocks, but the good old fashioned, Don Draper-era nightstand clocks that remind us of our own delicious mortality. Case in point: This flip clock crafted by one of the world's original flip clock manufacturers, which has been in business since 1956.

A robot pet feeder

Let’s get real, here. You’re a busy bee, and so is your fluffy companion. You both deserve an inoffensive looking robo-butler that dispenses Fluffy’s food like clockwork, so y’all can keep cuddling on the couch, uninterrupted (and so that little foolio doesn't wake you up at 6 AM every day).

Is this heaven or Las Vegas? 

Definitely heaven, although that would depend on how well you swaddle your giftee in in this Cocteau Twins woven blanket while they reminisce back to times when Coachella used to be one weekend.

A sexy candle

Designed by the founder and CEO of Black Owned Everything, the BOE candle will cast your home in a complex, layered aroma of woodsy scents, nutmeg, patchouli, and sandalwood. We’re hungry, and we’re horny? Some candles really do work magic. 

They’re a space cadet

Every friend group has one: The cosmic buddy who always loses their lighter, but knows the best shows going down on the weekend; the friend who never remembers exact birthday dates, but has memorized the astrological placements of every Grateful Dead member. They deserve a kaleidoscope, because they are a kaleidoscope.

They’re fancy AF

For that one friend that has really nice things and you go to for style advice, gift them a really luxurious pair of 100% Mongolian cashmere socks. They’re decadent, sophisticated, and something they might not buy for themselves.

For AM tokers

Nothing like a lil wake ‘n bake to start your Monday off right, especially during the bustling holiday season. Help them elevate their morning routine with a super cute mug/pipe combo from RIPNDIP.

They idolize Gwyneth

Have a super boujee friend that’s always at hot yoga or visits Amangiri every year? Give them the gift of (hot girl-approved) luxury collagen pearl powder to add to smoothies and give hair, skin, and nails, a lustrous glow.

For the sophisticated home chef

Sure they can dice, julienne, and sauté with their eyes closed, but I bet they don’t have a Zaha Hadid-designed Alessi cheese grater to reveal tableside, impressing guests with a sensual flurry of parm reigning down on their glorious plates of spicy fusilli [Chef’s kiss].

A guaranteed good time

We all have that one friend that’s never owned a vibrator and might need a little push (like a thoughtful gift from an equally thoughtful friend) to finally experience the joys of consistent orgasms. The Womanizer X Lovehoney Clitoral Celebration Bargain Bundle from Lovehoney is perfect for beginners. The package comes with a rechargeable bullet vibe, fan-favorite Womanizer clitoral stimulator, stimulating orgasm gel, cleaning wipes, and a discreet storage bag.

Happy shopping. Can’t wait to dry each other’s tears at the next White Elephant party.

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.  

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