Where is Paris, France? That’s a good question

By
Craig Brown

17:14 EST, 30 July 2012

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17:17 EST, 30 July 2012

The Republican candidate Mitt Romney answers all your holiday problems…

QA: Mitt is determined to answer the most vexing of questions

QA: Mitt is determined to answer the most vexing of questions

Dear Mitt, My family and I are thinking of vacationing in Paris, France. Just one thing: no one can tell us which country it’s in. Please help!

Jeff Bickle, Idaho.

MITT SAYS: That’s one question that I’m absolutely determined to address, Jeff. You ask: where is Paris, France? Good question.

Well, I tell you this, Jeff. The strength of our nation lies in challenging the challenges that continue to challenge us, and challenging them honestly, and with all the force at our disposal.

So let us be strong, because a strong America is our only assurance that prosperity will follow hardship. I hope that answers your question, Jeff.

Dear Mitt, What was your favourite part of your recent vacation in London, England?

Sally-Ann Travis, New Hampshire.

MITT SAYS: Don’t listen to the cynics, Sally-Ann. Never believe them when they try to tell you I made any so-called ‘gaffes’. Not true!

My recent visit to London was an unqualified success, no question. Without my intervention, those Olympic Games might never have started.

You see, I have to be honest with you, you can’t start a race without a pistol.

The right to bear arms is what made our country strong. As I told Prime Minister David uh, David uh, as I made plain to the Prime Minister, the pistol is what keeps the Olympic spirit alive, and no athlete, man, woman or child, should ever have to go out on that track without one.

A question of geography: The exact location of Paris seems to remain elusive

A question of geography: The exact location of Paris seems to remain elusive

Dear Mitt, Have you discovered the location of Paris, France, yet?

Jeff Bickle, Idaho.

MITT SAYS: Thanks for asking this important question again, my friend. In pursuit of an answer I greatly appreciated the insights and perspectives of Britain’s leaders of the government and the opposition. Between them, they were able to inspire some valuable insights — and, as for the discovery of that particular location, Jeff, I remain very encouraged.

Dear Mitt, Is there a foreign country you would recommend for a vacation?
Lee Sawyer, Texas.

MITT SAYS: It’s hard to know just how well any vacation abroad will turn out — and, let’s face facts, my friend, abroad is where these foreign countries tend to be, no one’s disputing that.

There are a few things about abroad that are, frankly, disconcerting. It’s no secret that these countries are openly run by foreigners.

There are stories about people being forced to eat Chinese food in China, and to wear bowler hats in Britain, and being required to drive around on camels in the desert, and that obviously is not something which is encouraging.

Uh-oh! Might I just add a few words by way of clarification to the words I have just clarified, whether intentionally or not? 

I’m absolutely convinced that the American people are ready to vacation abroad. Vacations are not about vacations, they’re about the people who go on vacations.

I trust people, I’m sorry, but I do. That’s why vacations, wherever they may be held, are often highly successful, even when they are taken abroad.  

And — yes — that’s why I stand by what I say, and, moreover, to say by what I stand. 

The maximum hand baggage allowance for international flights these days seems to stumble Mitt

The maximum hand baggage allowance for international flights these days seems to stumble Mitt

Dear Mitt, What’s the maximum hand baggage allowance for international flights these days?

P van Z, Wisconsin.

MITT SAYS: Good question, my friend, and a question that fully deserves a straight answer. That’s why I want to focus on the growing challenges to the foundations of our national strength.

How we confront these challenges will determine what kind of America we will bequeath to our children and our grandchildren.

For I believe that a strong America is our only assurance that America will continue to be the strong America I believe in: an America that allows us to believe in a strong America, an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that’s the America millions of Americans believe in.

I trust that answers your question, my friend.

Dear Mitt, My family and I are still desperate to know the exact location of Paris, France. Mighty grateful for any help you can offer us, Mitt!

Jeff Bickle, Idaho.

MITT SAYS: I’m honoured and humbled that you should ask me this question for a third time. I stand by what I didn’t say earlier, though at this point in time I’m unfamiliar with precisely what I didn’t say, but I will be unyielding in my quest for clarification — and that’s a promise, my friend.

Here’s what other readers have said. Why not add your thoughts,
or debate this issue live on our message boards.

The comments below have not been moderated.

Yea gods America don’t elect another Ignorant Bozo please!

Oh but he is a dummy. He tries to pass himself off as a contender for leader of the developed world by annoying countries for no reason at all. My favourite was his comparisons of cultures in named countries. He’s a sort of Sarah Palin in trousers. You can be a good corporate raider and still a pillock.

Romney probably doesnt even know where Paris, Texas is. – Roy, Sydney, Australia, 31/7/2012 02:08 Lets see……he studied in France and speaks the language pretty well. He’s got both a law degree and an MBA from Harvard, and built a $200 million fortune. He’s no dummy, Roy.
– Evan, Cleveland USA, 31/7/2012 04:16
..I was being facetious, but his pronouncements over the last few days do not seem to qualify him for common-sense either. Did not his father create the fortune initially?

He was all for universal health care in his state but now he is going to cancel it if he gets to be President.
He was all for gun control in his own sate but now he just quotes ‘The right to bear arms’.
Talk about facing both ways. He will say whatever he thinks you want to hear.

PrezBO doesn’t know how many states comprise the United States of America.

Romney probably doesnt even know where Paris, Texas is.
– Roy, Sydney, Australia, 31/7/2012 02:08
Lets see……he studied in France and speaks the language pretty well. He’s got both a law degree and an MBA from Harvard, and built a $200 million fortune. He’s no dummy, Roy.

Hey Boris, the Daily Mail, the U.K. Press and population: your Country stands a better chance of survival with Mitt as POTUS. Not only that, he’ll be a far better friend to the U.K than has been Obama. Obama is our Brussels, our E.U. – and he’ll put us in the same mess as they. He is our Appeaser – our Chamberlain. He’s our Karl Marx. But, he’s probably not one of us – made in America. Was Romney being rude? No. He was simply responding forthright to a question you Brits yourselves were asking just two days previous. Rude? – what was rude, was his host, Boris, publicly embarrassing a guest who through no intention might have spoken words he may wish to have rephrased. Manners please, after all, you are British.

Romney probably doesnt even know where Paris, Texas is.

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