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April 8th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
Facebook Apologizes For Getting 533 Million Users’ Personal Data Stolen Before They Could Sell It
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MENLO PARK, CA—According to reports, personal data from over 500 million Facebook users has been stolen and posted to a hacking website. Facebook quickly issued an apology that the data ended up in hackers’ hands for free before they had the chance to sell it.
“Darn, that’s a lot of your data we just gave away for free,” said Facebook spokesperson Andy Stone. “You people are worth more than that–we’re so sorry. Please think about it from our perspective though– we just lost a ton of potential revenue and political leverage in this hack. Try to have a little sympathy for us too, at least.”
Cybersecurity experts say that over 33 million Americans on Facebook now have their personal data available for free on a website where it is easily accessible to identity thieves.
“Even though hackers got your data for nothing, we find all of you users to be valuable and special!” said Stone. “We’ll be sure not to give away your data for free next time.”
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