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May 29th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
Reporters Cheer As Biden Takes Huge Bite Out Of Microphone Mistaking It For Ice Cream
CLEVELAND, OH—President Joe Biden wowed reporters again with his love for ice cream. Biden had gone to Honey Hut Ice Cream, and while he waited for his order, a FOX News reporter approached Biden to ask him a question.
“If the virus is found to be from a Chinese lab, then—” the reporter started to say, but Biden immediately grabbed the microphone.
“Ice cream!” Biden yelled and then started to eat the microphone.
“Aww! He sure loves ice cream!” squealed a Washington Post reporter.
“He thinks he’s people!” shouted an adoring journalist from the New York Times.
“Ice cream crunchy!” Biden said as he kept biting the microphone.
“No, Mr. President! No!” yelled White House aides as they tried to get the microphone away from him.
“Ice cream mine!” Biden shouted as he ran away. He tripped over a bench and began choking on the microphone, which became lodged in his throat.
“I know what we’re writing about today,” said an MSNBC reporter. “Biden loves ice cream!”
Biden was quickly carted off, and there is no word yet if Biden is still alive. It is known, though, that he likes his ice cream.
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