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October 5th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
WORLD—In one of the worst disasters humanity has faced since the dawn of civilization, Facebook and Instagram are now back online.
“Yeah, it’s kind of awkward that Facebook is back now because humanity already moved on,” said Jane Earstin, local Instagram influencer. “We had already made peace with a world without these horrible social networks, and we were just starting to realize how sweet a life it was with them gone. Then suddenly, Facebook’s all like, ‘Hey guys! I’m back! You miss me?’ Ugh. Awkward.”
Sources say that after a few blissful hours of peace, humanity will go right back to harmful, self-destructive social media habits as they continue to tear civilization apart one post at a time.
“It is a truly sad day for mankind. Womankind. Womxnkind. Peoplekind?” said Earstin. “Ugh whatever. It’s sad. But my post just got a like so that makes me feel better.”
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