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December 5th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
ERIE, PA—According to sources, local dad Dale Jeffers has managed to end a FaceTime call, successfully finding the right button in a record 27 seconds.
“I love you kids, be safe, it’s so nice to talk to you,” said Jeffers to his daughter before adjusting the screen and looking at it through his reading glasses in search of the “hang-up” button. His kids were then treated to an underside view of Dad’s neck and nostrils as he looked for the button.
Witnesses say he muttered a few four-letter words before finding the button and hanging up the call in a record 27 seconds, which is faster than any other dad on record.
His kids were later treated to an accidental FaceTime call from the inside of his jeans pocket.
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