Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Gulliver’s Travels

This whimsical new version of Gulliver’s Travels spins a musical, laughter-filled story of some very tiny people who learn some very big lessons about life, love—and spaghetti! … Source

Man Wondering Why People Keep Stealing His ‘Come And Take It’ Flag

WICHITA FALLS, TX — Local man Harley Richards has become befuddled as people keep repeatedly stealing his flag that says, “Come and take it”. Source

Peloton Unveils $500 Bike-Shaped Laundry Rack

NEW YORK, NY — Peloton has released an innovative new laundry rack that looks exactly like their original exercise bike, for the low cost of five hundred dollars. Source

Daily Horoscope: January 4, 2023

Venus in Aquarius connects with Jupiter in Aries at 4:08 AM, inspiring a fun, flirtatious atmosphere! People can feel especially generous or open-minded. Agreements may be made as the moon in Gemini connects with Saturn in Aquarius at 6:54 PM, and we could feel especially sentimental as the moon squares off with Neptune in Pisces […]

Local Man Takes 15th Annual ‘Before’ Photo

MEEKER, CO — The new year started off optimistically for local resolution enthusiast, Carson Blenvy, who dove right into his resolve to lose 30 pounds of fat by taking a before photo to help document his future progress toward a sleek, muscular body. Source

Learn how to live without electricity from the Amish community

Modern homeowners rely on electricity for many of their gadgets, tools and appliances. If you want to be more self-sufficient, you can learn from the Amish. The Amish community can teach preppers many things about being self-sufficient and living independently off the grid. Read on to learn how some Amish ways of living can be applied […]

Man Slips Into Deep Depression After Finishing Last Of Thanksgiving Leftovers

NORRISTOWN, PA — Chad Pullman, 39, slipped into a deep depression Monday after finishing off the last of the Thanksgiving leftovers. Doctors say he has been unable to leave his bedroom for two days. Source

Husband Grows Concerned As Amazon Opens Warehouse Location In Front Yard

INDEPENDENCE, MO — A local man found cause for great concern this week when he discovered Amazon was moving forward with plans to build a distribution hub located in his front yard. Source

In Affirmative Action Program, Starbucks Forced To Hire One Straight Male Barista

U.S. – In a groundbreaking affirmative action program aimed at diversifying its workforce, Starbucks has hired its first and only straight white cis-male barista. Source

Introvert Resigns Self To Life Of Bad Haircuts

SEATTLE, WA — After another disastrous trip to the salon, local introvert Sam Johnson has resigned himself to a lifetime of awful haircuts. “No, no, bowl cuts are great,” said Mr. Johnson to his hairdresser as he surveyed the damage. “Definitely what I was going for, that early Jim Carrey look. Thanks so much.” After […]

9 Times Chick-fil-A Employees Saved A Customer’s Life In The Drive-Thru

Not all heroes wear capes, but lots of them wear red polos and goofy-looking yellow suspenders. Here we have collected nine legendary tales of when Chick-fil-A employees literally saved a customer’s life in the drive-thru: Source

Liberals Sit Around Campfire To Tell Scary Climate Change Stories

YOSEMITE, CA — During a camping retreat this week to recharge for more rioting before, during, and after the midterm elections, a group of progressives sat around a campfire and enjoyed swapping scary stories about climate change. “Then, the tropical storms combined with the raging wildfires into an inferno – and then, the floods from […]

Embarrassed Chick-Fil-A Execs Discover Their Cows Have Been Making Tons Of Spelling Errors

ATLANTA, GA — Chick-fil-A marketing executives announced Monday that they were “shocked and embarrassed” to discover that the cows they hired to run their marketing department have been making “egregious and inexcusable spelling errors” for years. One exec was reportedly driving by one of the company’s billboards and realized with horror that basic words like […]

Embarrassed Chick-Fil-A Execs Discover Their Cows Have Been Making Tons Of Spelling Errors

ATLANTA, GA — Chick-fil-A marketing executives announced Monday that they were “shocked and embarrassed” to discover that the cows they hired to run their marketing department have been making “egregious and inexcusable spelling errors” for years. One exec was reportedly driving by one of the company’s billboards and realized with horror that basic words like […]

Embarrassed Chick-Fil-A Execs Discover Their Cows Have Been Making Tons Of Spelling Errors

ATLANTA, GA — Chick-fil-A marketing executives announced Monday that they were “shocked and embarrassed” to discover that the cows they hired to run their marketing department have been making “egregious and inexcusable spelling errors” for years. One exec was reportedly driving by one of the company’s billboards and realized with horror that basic words like […]

Last Man Wearing Pants While Working From Home Finally Caves

SIMPSONVILLE, SC — Sources indicate that the last holdout still wearing full business attire to his work-from-home job has finally caved, going pantsless to his Zoom meetings this morning. “I remember back in April 2020 when I wrote a whole LinkedIn post about the importance of still wearing business attire even when working from home […]

Last Man Wearing Pants While Working From Home Finally Caves

SIMPSONVILLE, SC — Sources indicate that the last holdout still wearing full business attire to his work-from-home job has finally caved, going pantsless to his Zoom meetings this morning. “I remember back in April 2020 when I wrote a whole LinkedIn post about the importance of still wearing business attire even when working from home […]

Child Announces Plan To Remain In Halloween Costume For Next 8 Weeks

ANCHORAGE, AK — After receiving his Halloween costume in the mail early and trying it on, local child Ryden Hollister declared boldly that he would not be removing the costume for the next 8 weeks. “You may now refer to me as Mario,” he told his mother solemnly. “I will not be removing this costume […]

Child Announces Plan To Remain In Halloween Costume For Next 8 Weeks

ANCHORAGE, AK — After receiving his Halloween costume in the mail early and trying it on, local child Ryden Hollister declared boldly that he would not be removing the costume for the next 8 weeks. “You may now refer to me as Mario,” he told his mother solemnly. “I will not be removing this costume […]

Earthquake Causes Thousands Of Californians To Check Twitter To See If That Was An Earthquake

CALIFORNIA — A 3.9-magnitude earthquake over the weekend caused thousands of Californians to pull up Twitter on their phones and post asking if anyone else felt the earthquake. Unsure if what they felt was an earthquake, Californians rushed to be the first ones to post that they thought they might have felt there was an […]

Earthquake Causes Thousands Of Californians To Check Twitter To See If That Was An Earthquake

CALIFORNIA — A 3.9-magnitude earthquake over the weekend caused thousands of Californians to pull up Twitter on their phones and post asking if anyone else felt the earthquake. Unsure if what they felt was an earthquake, Californians rushed to be the first ones to post that they thought they might have felt there was an […]

Hard Luck (1921)

Strange things ensue after a young man attempts to take his own life. Credit: Public Domain Movies– Feature Films: Cinema collection: http://epochcinema.comEpoch Original content: http://epochoriginal.comFeature Films: https://www.theepochtimes.com/featured-films * Click the “Save” button below the video to access it later on “My List.” Follow EpochTV on social media: Twitter: https://twitter.com/EpochTVusRumble: https://rumble.com/c/EpochTVTruth Social: https://truthsocial.com/@EpochTV Gettr: https://gettr.com/user/epochtvFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/EpochTVusGab: […]

Man Who Couldn’t Attend His Mother’s Funeral Sure Glad To See Gay Fetish Festival Still Proceeding As Planned

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Recalling how the government forcibly kept him from attending his own mother’s funeral in the name of public health, local man Ryan Abbott was thrilled to see that no one will be kept from attending gay fetish festivals because of a new public health emergency. Source

Mormon Wedding Turns Into Wild Rager After Someone Slips Some Caffeine Into The Punch

SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Chaos broke out at the wedding of Addison and Nate Morey last Friday when local LDS hooligans snuck caffeinated black tea from a flask into the punch. Source

Woman’s Work-From-Home Business Pitch Contains Concerning Number Of Assurances It’s Not A Pyramid Scheme

SHREVEPORT, LA — During a meeting about an “exciting opportunity,” Emily Levin became progressively more anxious as her old high-school friend Taylor Selick continued to assure her that this work-from-home business was not, in fact, a pyramid scheme. Source

I.T. Guy Miraculously Fixes 10 Employees’ Laptops But Only 1 Returns To Say Thank You

CUPERTINO, CA — Humble PC technician Crisanto Peralta at Future Products Inc. was disheartened Thursday when he fixed the laptops of ten employees, but only one returned to say thank you. Source

Toddler Waits Patiently To Vomit Until 5 Minutes Before Parents’ Date Night

SHREVEPORT, LA — Plans for a relaxing date night were dashed upon the rocks of parenthood Thursday when Sam and Jen Goldwind witnessed 2-year-old Daenerys vomit just five minutes before leaving. Early reports indicate that the child had patiently waited to vomit until precisely the right moment in a ruse to keep her parents home. […]

10 Biggest Adjustments Fleeing Californians Have To Make In Their New States

Hundreds of thousands of people are fleeing California for states like Texas and Florida, but it’s not always easy to adjust to life in an American state. Source

Man Pretends To Enjoy Tea Beverage With Little Slimy Balls Floating In It

PASADENA, CA — While out with friends, local man Kevin Bann put up a valiant effort to feign enjoyment of an orange watery substance with little slimy balls floating in it. His friends have confirmed he is “very cool” and “with the times.” Source

Liberal Neighbors In Game Of Chicken To See Who Will Take Down Their ‘Black Lives Matter’ Sign First

ANN ARBOR, MI — According to sources, two neighbors in an upscale liberal suburb are currently locked in a battle of chicken to see who will be the first person to take down their “Black Lives Matter” yard sign — thereby showing the entire neighborhood they’ve stopped caring about black lives. Source

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