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April 11th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
FLATWOODS, KY—According to sources, local 7-year-old Bella McClusky recently got a brand new toy from her Grandmother. After only 5 minutes of playing with her new toy, she reportedly got bored and elected instead to watch other people play with the exact same toy on YouTube.
“I don’t get it,” said Bella’s confused Dad, John McClusky. “She just got this new toy, but all she wants to do is watch hours of people unboxing the toy she just unboxed, followed by hours of people playing with the toy she just played with. You know, back in my day…” Mr. McClusky said before the interviewer lost interest and walked away.
McClusky relented and allowed his daughter to watch YouTube, which gave him some free time to watch several YouTube videos about the lawnmower he just purchased.
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