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Posts Tagged ‘rated’
Men Need a Skincare Routine, Too—and This High-Rated Kit Is Free Right Now
November 9th, 2023 
Awake Goy The other day, a friend who is a dude proudly unpacked his nighttime skincare routine. It consisted of: Splash water on face. Motorboat pillow. Sleep. And as sick as this sounds, he gradually started to admit that his non-skincare routine didn’t really leave him feeling great. In fact, to quote his partner, “It kind of […]
This Top-Rated Levoit Air Purifier Makes My Cat Allergy Bearable
September 19th, 2023 Awake Goy Your roommate just baked a massive batch of baked filets of salmon. You have a date planned in one hour and the entire place reeks of hot fish. Opening the windows isn’t going to cut it. There’s only one solution (besides spraying the place down with Axe and giving your crush a migraine): Crank the […]
Westworld-style sex robot factory promises X-rated models will ‘Stare into your Soul’
October 6th, 2021 Awake Goy RealDoll’s latest model will ‘stare into your soul,’ they promise (Image: realdoll / Instagram) RealDoll say their eerily lifelike doll is ‘staring into your soul’ and asking why you haven’t bought one your own yet, as industry experts warn that hackers could easily take control of the AI-powered ‘sexy Alexa’ Sex robot specialists RealDoll promise their latest […]
We Have A Lot Of Words We’d Like To Call Joe Biden Right Now But We Are A Christian Website So Here Are Some G-Rated Alternatives
August 27th, 2021 Awake Goy We Have A Lot Of Words We’d Like To Call Joe Biden Right Now But We Are A Christian Website So Here Are Some G-Rated Alternatives We have a lot of feelings right now, and it’s hard to process. Sometimes, we just want to say a cussword, like unbelievers or lesser satire sites, like The Onion, […]
Posted in Jewish News 
Tags: alternatives, biden, christian, rated, right, website, words 
No Comments »Cargo Ship Charted X-Rated Route Before Getting Stuck In Suez Canal
March 25th, 2021 Awake Goy The quarter-mile-long container ship that’s currently blocking the Suez Canal traced a distinctly phallic route in the hours before being blown off course and becoming stuck on Tuesday morning. The route charted by the MV Ever Given in the Red Sea before entering the Egyptian waterway appeared to resemble a penis, testicles and butt cheeks […]
Jewish baker iced out of Dutch political party — over her X-rated cakes
February 3rd, 2021 Awake Goy News and Partnerships Life and Culture Columnists and Opinion Haaretz Heb and TheMarker Haaretz.com, the online English edition of Haaretz Newspaper in Israel, gives you breaking news, analyses and opinions about Israel, the Middle East and the Jewish World. © Haaretz Daily Newspaper Ltd. All Rights Reserved
George Webb Has A Man Crush On Jared Kushner and an X-Rated Love for Israel
March 25th, 2018 Awake Goy George Webb had been a toss up to me on whether he is manic depressive or schizophrenic. Whatever his neurosis, I thought that he was simply a crazy sweaty guy that lives out of his rusty Protégé and his mental illness ultimately was inconsequential to his research. I was wrong. Wednesday, Webb released a video […]
Judge delays Jefferey Epstein trial – Won’t allow X-rated evidence
December 2nd, 2017 Awake Goy What promised to be a salacious trial probing billionaire Jeffrey Epstein’s sexual relationships with underage girls won’t get underway next week as planned. Citing the many unanswered legal questions that still swirl around the 8-year-old civil lawsuit pitting attorney Bradley Edwards against the 64-year-old Palm Beach convicted sex offender, Palm Beach County Circuit Judge Donald […]
Internet ‘putting porn out of business’, says X-rated film stud Ron Jeremy
November 16th, 2017 Awake Goy The 64-year-old – known across the world for his 9.5-inch, um, asset – told news.com.au that the best days of pornography are in the past. “The internet has put porn out of business,” he said. Pornhub celebrates 10yrs online with release of viewers’ dirty-minded habits Jeremy went on to reminisce about how “video used to […]
Porn star Kendra Sunderland kicked off Instagram following X-rated comments about platform’s CEO
A verified account and 2.2 million followers wasn’t enough to save Kendra Sunderland from getting booted off Instagram after the porn star made salacious comments about sexual acts with the social media site’s CEO. The saga began several weeks ago when the 25-year-old adult actress posted a topless photo of herself on the platform and […]