David Cameron In Phone Call with Islamic State ‘Terror Leader’ Abu Waheeb

November 19th, 2014

FAKE NEWS for the Zionist agenda

‘Al Raqqa Jihadi And Takfiri Chronicle.’
Special report.
-Musa Hamdoon in London.

It was a busy day for Islamic State Supreme Commander For Anbar Abu Waheeb. After morning prayers he was scheduled to lead a force of twenty-eight vehicles carrying heavy weapons to attack a previously hard to contest military outpost north of Mosul. Waheeb, who was in a hurry because he had a pile of paper work to deal with back at base did not wait for the other vehicles to arrive for the attack, drove on himself an hour in advance and personally stormed the barracks single-handedly killing sixty-five soldiers, exploiting all their military intelligence, downloading the contents of their laptops onto his memory stick, fixing a troubled generator in his Toyota pick-up and then heading on to reach his office in time for prayers.

When the other twenty-seven vehicles arrived at the scene they found not only that the action was all over but Abu Waheeb had piled up a half a ton of weapons and ammunition outside the base ready for the other vehicles to simply load up and drive home. He had even taken down the flags around the outpost and replaced them with the Islamic State flag and sprayed quotations from the Quran over the entrance.

THE LEGENDARY FIGHTER ABU WAHEEB STUNNED TRANSNATIONAL SECURITY AGENCIES WHO HAD DEPOLEYD SEVERAL BILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF SPYING INFRASTRUCTURE TO MONITOR ISLAMIC STATE BY LAUNCHING HIS NEW 'TWEET' SERVICE IN THE FORM OF HUNDREDS OF TRAINED BIRDS WHO NOT ONLY TAKE SECRET MESSAGES TO ISLAMIC STATE COMMANDERS IN SYRIA AND IRAQ BUT CAN RECITE VERSES FROM THE KORAN.

LEGENDARY FIGHTER ABU WAHEEB STUNNED TRANSNATIONAL SECURITY AGENCIES WHO HAD DEPLOYED SEVERAL BILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF SPYING INFRASTRUCTURE TO MONITOR ISLAMIC STATE, BY LAUNCHING HIS NEW ‘TWEET’ SERVICE IN THE FORM OF HUNDREDS OF TRAINED BIRDS WHO NOT ONLY CARRY SECRET MESSAGES TO ISLAMIC STATE COMMANDERS IN SYRIA AND IRAQ, BUT CAN RECITE VERSES FROM THE KORAN.

It was that very evening when Abu Waheeb heard the statement by the ‘British’ prime minister crypto-Jew David Cameron on the BBC (B’nai B’rith Corporation) saying that Islamic State was a major threat to the Jewknighted kingdom, intended to rape every woman in the country between the ages of eight and eighty, every man with no beard, all animals over one feet high which security officials regarded as a serious threat to British sheep, intended to introduce Sharia law powers to traffic wardens who would then have a right to behead anyone parking on a double-yellow line or speeding in a forty mile zone, and that all babies in incubators would be thrown out the windows of hospitals and Cadbury Dairy Milk fruit and nut chocolate bars would be banned as being non-Islamic.

Abu Waheeb was incensed at these lies and using his old windows 98 computer and some Russian software he had written he immediately hacked his way into the Number 10 switchboard and connected himself to Cameron’s personal phone. Cameron was sitting on the toilet looking at naked women on page three of the SUN Newspaper when the call arrived. He had just lunched with the UK Chief Rabbi Ephraim Mirvis who had flown in as a special treat the heart and blood of a Palestinian infant whose brains had been beaten in by an IDF soldier in a raid on Gaza. Such rich food had given Cameron constipation, a condition worsened by hearing Abu Waheeb shouting at him in Arabic before slamming down the phone.

it is said of Abu Waheeb that he sleeps only half an hour at night and spends the rest of his time studying Quran and Hadith. But on nights when his eyes are tired he rides out on his horse Trigger and silently entering the encampments of the enemy forces besieging the town, he lays small landmines at the foot of their sleeping bags. In this way he is said to have halted enemy advances on a number of occasions.

It is said of Abu Waheeb that he sleeps only half an hour at night and spends the rest of his time reciting Quran and Hadith. But on nights when his eyes are tired he rides out on his horse Trigger and silently entering the encampments of the enemy forces besieging the town, he lays small landmines at the foot of their sleeping bags. In this way he is said to have halted their advances on a number of occasions due to their resulting lack of legs.

Waheeb then went on to the outskirts of Tikrit where he single-handedly executed five hundred Iraqi Shia Army prisoners, traveled to the mosque for prayers then returning to his office completed the plans for the storming of an air base in Syria, penned the musical score for five new nasheeds, drew up plans to construct homemade copies of hand-held ground-to-air anti-aircraft missiles to be manafactured out of old metal pipes and assembled in garages, briefly went out of doors to shoot shoot down a passing Shia Iraqi army helicopter to test one of his prototype SAM-16 generic rockets and then settled down to his paperwork.

SECURITY OFFICIALS CLAIM WAHEEB THREATENED TO EXECUTE CAMERON IN THE CHAMBER OF THE HOUSE OF COMMONS ON HIS NEXT TRIP TO ENGLAND TO STUDY EARLY QUARANIC TEXTS IN THE POSSESSION OF THE BRITISH LIBRARY.

BUT SADLY FOR ISLAMIC STATE DAVID CAMERON IS TRAINING A FORCE OF CRACK BRITISH TROOPS, OR PERHAPS A FORCE OF BRITISH TROOPS ON CRACK, WE ARE UNABLE TO CONFIRM, WHO ARE EXPECTED TO BE AN EVEN BIGGER CHALLENGE TO ISLAMIC STATE THAN THE PESHI GIRLS: