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July 6th, 2021 
Awake Goy 
WASHINGTON, D.C.—To commemorate Biden securing a 16 cent savings on barbecue expenses for every American this year, the U.S. Treasury has announced the minting of a new 16 cent coin featuring Biden’s likeness stamped on them.
“This will be an eternal symbol of America’s gratitude for Biden securing such a life-changing amount of savings for us all,” said Treasury Spokesperson Marc Monopoly. “For all time, the memory of our great leader will be immortalized on this really handy 16 cent piece, forever reminding the American people what Joe Biden did for them in the summer of 2021.”
Now, whenever Americans go to the store to spend their 16 cent barbecue savings, they will no longer have to carry an inconvenient combination of a dime, a nickel, and a penny. Instead, they can carry a handy Biden coin– which features an ice cream cone on one side, with Biden’s profile on the other, and Joe’s timeless American catchphrase, “Come on, man!”
The Treasury has announced a run of 178 trillion Biden coins, approximately enough to pay off the national debt and to reach the edge of the solar system if stacked on top of each other.
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