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September 3rd, 2021 
Awake Goy 
There’s a lot of fake news out there. That’s why you’re smart and read The Babylon Bee. We’re real journalists.
And as such, we’ve just landed an exclusive interview with a very high-profile guest: Joe Biden’s back. We grilled the president’s back on a wide range of topics. Read on for this insightful interview:
BABYLON BEE: Thanks for being here, Mr. President.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: They told me not to take any questions.
BABYLON BEE: Who told you that? Who is “they”? Aren’t you the president?
Joe Biden turned around at this point and sat facing away from us for the remainder of this interview.
BABYLON BEE: Wow, real mature.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: …
BABYLON BEE: Anyway, I guess we’ll just continue. Do you feel the Afghanistan withdrawal could have been handled better?
PRESIDENT BIDEN: …
BABYLON BEE: Interesting. Thanks for the insight. What about the border crisis?
PRESIDENT BIDEN: …
BABYLON BEE: The strong, silent type. Very presidential. Moving on to the problem of inflation… are you snoring, Mr. President?
PRESIDENT BIDEN: Hairy legs… in the sun… kids running their fingers through… dog-faced CornPop soldiers…
BABYLON BEE: Yep, definitely snoring.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: …
BABYLON BEE: Mr. President?
PRESIDENT BIDEN: …
BABYLON BEE: Mr. President?! MR. PRESIDENT?! SOMEONE HOLD A MIRROR UP UNDER HIS NOSE, QUICK!
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