Henry Makow’s Best Quips (Updated)


(My headstone. Some lines are just intended to shock and get a laugh.
I’m re-posting this for new readers who may appreciate a good line as much as I do.
A good line is pure gold. I open my vault to you.
 “The conspiracy is like the weather. Everyone talks about it but no one does anything about it.”
Updated from Nov. 23, 2017 and August 11, 2021
by Henry Makow PhD
All that is required for the triumph of evil is for good men to be given good jobs.  
Prejudice is another word for experience. 
It’s not Right or Left that matters, it’s Right or Wrong
Homeopathic dog training. (Whisper the commands under your breath.)

When I attended university, we were told to question authority. Today, students are told to question their gender. 
Feminism harnessed the political power of women who couldn’t get a date on Saturday night (and ensured their ranks swelled.) 
Our true wealth is measured by the things we love.
I don’t have to avoid temptation; temptation avoids me.
As an ethnic Jew, I assimilated into the mainstream Christian culture.
 I became a Cherokee in 19th century America.

A man’s religion is his day. (It’s not what you believe; it’s what you do.) 
You have to be good to feel good. 
The law of personalities. Big personalities should marry little personalities.
In choosing a mate, seek someone with lower self-esteem than you.
I looked in vain for someone to believe in me when I wouldn’t believe in myself. No one believes in people who don’t believe in themselves. We seek from others the belief we won’t give ourselves.
Most of our problems are due to “humanism” – the idea that man is the measure of all things. Humanism is a solipsism. God Consciousness is the measure of all things. What people say or do is best ignored unless it manifests Consciousness. But the best place is to find God is not in art or knowledge, or other people, but in ourselves.

Referring to my early fame as “Ask Henry” (1961-1964) – Advice to Parents from a Kid, in 40 newspapers:   (YouTube of me on What’s My Line in 1962. Start at 11 min)
I have a great future behind me.
Like Egypt and Greece, I peaked too early. 
Over time, physical beauty fades but love grows. 
We are grains of sand in a desert of time.

I am the “Father of Socio-dynamics.” (I wanted to be the “Father of Hygiene” but my son wouldn’t change his name.)
Three laws of socio-dynamics. 1. We are attracted to people who have something we want. 2. We are repulsed by people who want something from us. 3. We are indifferent to people who don’t fall into either category above. Special Fourth Law – We are attracted to people who may have something we may want in the future. 

(Organized Jewry is Communism)
Attending university “remotely” is like ordering take-out from Hooters.
We begin life with exalted expectations followed by a long, gradual disillusionment until finally, we meet death with perfect equanimity.
Old age and death are our final humiliation.  So why be attached to this world when it’s only temporary?
Is someone who admits he is a hypocrite still a hypocrite?
    I have never been this happy in my lifetime. But I am still miserable because humanity is going down the drain.
I don’t want to be on your “to-do” list. 
After making a shipwreck of my life, I am cast up on the shores of old age.  My past is a blooper reel.
I am an old man but I don’t feel like an old man.
“It was an up-day in the bear market of his mind.” 
The way to impress women – Don’t Try. 
Nothing demystifies women like marriage.

People don’t age so much as ripen and spoil, like bananas.
(l. Lindsay Lohan)
The older I get, the younger I feel. (The Truth does make you free.)
If you live each day like it’s your last, do you still have to clean the house? 

Me: You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.  
Wife: Yes you can, but you’re not a dog.
Teaching was bringing answers to people who had no questions. [They were the wrong answers–I was a socialist) bu– the observation still applies.]
A professor-evaluation asked, “What is the best thing about Dr. Makow’s class?”  
One girl answered, “Not too early in the morning, and not too late in the afternoon.”
My default response to life is a combination of Denial and Disbelief.
As “Lao Tzu”
The mind is a prison where thoughts torture the soul. 
The pursuit of happiness is the main cause of unhappiness.
We have a stark choice: Conversion (to God’s service) or endless thankless Diversion
We are slaves to the world inversely to our devotion to God. 
Empty your mind of all thought. What’s left is the real you. (Why do we assume we must think all of the time?) 
c.2023 Henry Makow  (i.e. it’s not plagiarism if you acknowledge the source.)  



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